The Heights and The Depths.

Lent for Little Ones

2011-03-07T14:22:00.007-06:00

The season of Lent is upon us! Well, almost. For our Eastern Orthodox friends, Lent begins today, but for the Western church, it will begin with Ash Wednesday - this Wednesday!

As MCM and LCM get older, I am trying to incorporate the seasons of the church year into our home life as much as possible. My desire is that we would lead a seamless life - all permeated by the presence of Christ and the life of the church. I want to create as many opportunities as possible to imitate the life of Christ in our home, so that there is no separation between what we find and feel at church and what we find and feel at home - the domestic church. Lent is one of those seasons where we have the opportunity to make the Gospel come alive for our children, and I want to take full advantage of it!

That being said, this is our first year to really observe Lent as a family, so this is all new to me. I always love hearing what other families are doing in their home to teach their children, so I thought I'd share some links to the many wonderful ideas I'll be copying for my girls this season. :)

First, we're going to bury the Alleluia. MCM and I made a sign almost exactly like the one this link leads you to, and we hung it over the fireplace. Tomorrow (Mardi Gras or Shrove Tuesday) we'll "bury" it somewhere in the house and pull it out again on Easter morning.

Wednesday we'll go to the Ash Wednesday service at church. I've done my best to explain what this service means to MCM, but I'm sure she'll understand it better on Wednesday. I think this link has some wonderful ideas/crafts for how to teach kids about Ash Wednesday/Lent.

I also printed these Lenten calendars for kids, and we made a purple (the liturgical color of Lent, the color of kings, royalty) cross similar to this one:

We'll use this to display our calendars and remind the littles what this season is all about.

I'm also going to make a Jesus Tree for the girls following the designs on this blog:

I'm doing ours on blue poster board and making felt ornaments for the "tree". If you're not feeling crafty, this sweet mom has 40 daily scripture readings to do with your little ones that all focus on the life of Christ. Simply doing that would be wonderful!

We also have a little jar, which bears the label "Give", in which we'll be putting all of our change and extra money from not eating out (or buying/baking sweets, which she'll be fasting from), so that MCM can learn a bit about almsgiving. At the end of Lent she says she'd like to give her money to the church. She already emptied her piggy bank and filled the jar halfway. :)

I'll also be pulling these out during Holy Week:

I bought these simple, little eggs last year at Hobby Lobby. Each one contains an item pertaining to the life, death, and resurrection of Christ. The child opens each egg and you share with them the Gospel story. I didn't know if MCM would understand what I was telling her last year (she was only 2 1/2), but I couldn't believe how seeing and holding these symbols made the story come alive for her. Be careful with small children though, because this is definitely a choking hazard.

I have my work cut out for me in the craft department, but it is such a help that there are creative mothers out there posting ideas for the rest of us. May you all have a blessed and fruitful Lent!

"We read to know we're not alone."

2011-02-05T08:00:00.000-06:00

Ah, yes, the old quote from Clive Staples Lewis. If that is so, I must have felt quite alone in 2010. It should have been called "The Year of Shamlessly Not Reading". Honestly, I look next to my bedside table where all my books are stacked. (Only MCM has a bookshelf. I stack, and Leland throws his paperbacks under the bed. Hahaha. No, seriously.) Many lovely books, and maybe 2-3 read last year? I think having 2 children sapped me of the ability to concentrate on anything longer than a half hour reality show. I could literally feel my brain atrophy.

Thus, I have taken upon myself the devote this year to reading. The goal, as you can see on the side bar of this blog, is a book a week. I am a fast reader. I also have the gift of wasting time. I figure if my time wasting can be replaced by reading, a book a week will be nothing. So far, I've been meeting my goal. It's been so much fun. Nerd fun.

If you're on Goodreads, lets be friends. You can see what I'm reading, and eventually I'll review some books here as well. I'm focusing on fiction, because my tendency is to get started on non-fiction rabbit trails that eventually cause reader burn-out. However, I've already begun venturing off the fiction path into the world of biographies and, of course, theology. Here's to trying to stay the course. If you have anything to recommend, let me know!

Lazy Chicken Noodle Soup

2011-02-04T08:00:00.000-06:00

I'm calling this soup "lazy" because it doesn't involve making your own chicken broth. If you have a freezer full of the stuff, yay you! But, I'm not quite there yet. Still, this soup is delicious, and I've been making it about once a week since the temperature dropped below 50 degrees. Actually, we're having it for dinner tonight. Enjoy!

Lazy Chicken Noodle Soup

8 cups chicken broth
1cup chopped onion
1 cup chopped celery
1 cup chopped carrots
1 clove minced garlic
2-3 cups chopped, cooked chicken
2 medium tomatoes, peeled and chopped
1/2 cup uncooked broad egg noodles (I use a whole cup)
1 teaspoon snipped fresh basil or 1/4 teaspoon dried basil
1/4-1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1/2 teaspoon snipped fresh thyme or 1/8 teaspoon dried thyme
1-2 tablespoons snipped parsley

In a 6-quart Dutch oven or stockpot, combine chicken broth, onion, celery, carrots, and garlic. Bring to boiling, reduce heat and simmer, uncovered, for 20 minutes. (Until vegetables are soft) Add chicken, tomatoes, noodles, basil, pepper, and thyme. Simmer about 8 minutes more or until noodles are tender. (May have to bring to boiling again) Garnish with parsley and serve with good, crunchy bread!

Is Preschool Necessary?

2011-02-03T12:49:00.003-06:00

I googled that just the other day.

Do you know how many parents are asking that very question? Apparently LOTS. There are an assortment of answers to be found too. From, "Kids who go to preschool are 10 times smarter than their peers." To, "What is the point of being a stay-at-home Mom if you're just going to farm your kids' early education out to paid teachers?" My favorite was someone who said, "Everyone knows that the more time children are surrounded by other children, the smarter they will be." That just struck me funny, because, really? Are 3-year-0lds teaching each other their ABC's?

MCM started preschool in the fall. We're blessed to be able to send her to a precious Christian school. The teachers are loving, patient and clearly enjoy teaching little ones. The environment is fun, non-threatening, and positive. However, from the moment we got the call that they had a spot open for her, I've had major hesitations about whether or not I want to send her off 3 mornings a week. (The issue of waiting lists and the difficulty of finding a good preschool is for another post, I guess!) The time we have with our children is limited. If we send them to school at age 5, that's only 4 full years of time at home with Mom. It pains me to offer up any of this time, even when I know the exchange is a positive one in many ways.

Despite my hesitations, we started MCM to school. It was very exciting for her at first, although she had trouble understanding that it wasn't just a one-time thing. "Nope, you get to go every MWF all year long!" She never cried or had a hard time being dropped off. But, for a few weeks, every time I picked her up, she would come up to me, cross her little arms and put on her best pouting face. When I got her into the car, she wouldn't want to talk about anything they'd done at school. She didn't want to talk at all. She just wanted to zone out from exhaustion. We'd get home, have a snack, a nap, and even afterward, she'd be tired still. I couldn't figure out if she was having a hard time or if she was just worn out. I mentioned it to her teachers, and they couldn't believe she'd been acting strange at all, because she was perfectly happy at school. After a while, this seemed to clear up a bit. So, I powered on. For the most part, I'd say it's been a really good experience for her. Still, I struggle with it.

Last week we had parent teacher conferences at school. MCM's teachers had nothing but sweet things to say about MCM. It encouraged us to hear that she is kind, respectful, sweet and obedient. I shared some of my concerns with her teachers, the main one being that I know MCM is doing okay in school, but I often wonder if I'm not getting the best of her at home. At home she's tired, just wants to "snuggleonthecouchwithwarmmilkandsnuggieandablanketandamovie". (That's one word for her.) When the time comes for me to try to teach her or do something constructive, she's not so interested. She's done with structure and wants to play or relax. What I found interesting is that her teachers didn't argue with me in any way. They didn't make a case for the wonders of preschool. They just said it's a decision every parent has to make. Well, boo. I would've almost preferred thy chastise me for even thinking of trying to keep her home!

We all want our children to get the very best start educationally, socially, spiritually. We want them to learn, make friends, and most importantly, know how deeply God loves them. For some of us, this comes very naturally within the home. I see this especially with friends who are teachers by vocation. They have a well of creativity and usually a well-stocked craft drawer or room to help them. They are the ones who teach as they play, have a structured home environment and usually a structured routine for older ones that incorporates "school time" into the average day. (Come to think of it, maybe I've only read about these Moms on blogs.)

For some of us (myself included), this does not come as naturally. However, my desire teach and inspire my children is usually large enough to overpower my general lack of creativity, and I'm really excellent at copying someone's creative ideas. I'm learning, but I see with MCM she's not as willing to learn from me as she is from someone else. I see that school has helped her take pride in her growing capability and independence. I see that she loves her friends and teachers. Sure, if you ask her, she'll say she'd rather stay home with Mommy and Lucy. But, in the next breath she might say she misses her friends at school. It's just that time of her life - and mine - where a little independence is good...but it's also scary. Neither of us are ready to let go of each other for 7 hours a day, 5 days a week. But, for now...this is okay.

Not sure why I'm delving into all this. I would like to post about some of the little things we're doing at home to learn spiritually and educationally. It's nothing impressive, but it's a start for Moms who, like me, are learning as you go.

Christmas 2010

2011-01-15T14:33:00.004-06:00

Happy Sisters on Christmas morning!

White Christmas in Alabama - a first? Me: SoVeryTired. MCM: InKidHeaven. This is just before we explored all hills and empty lots in the back of the neighborhood. COLD!! We froze our fannies off!

Showing us her sock gloves. That's right, we didn't own gloves until last week. Oops!

Thawing out after our outdoor adventure.

Sweet family on Christmas Eve. Girls in their Christmas pj's.

Now that it's taken me and hour to upload the pictures I wanted, and they're STILL not in the order I wanted, I have run out of patience for Blogger. Does anyone else think loading pictures on here is a complete pain? Christmas was great. I'm glad it's over. The end.

One tidbit: I baked a lot of cookies this year. Partly because I LOVE sweets. Partly because MCM is a wonderful kitchen helper. She loves to force me to wear an apron every time I cook, and she puts on her apron and one on Lucy, and we go to town. Also, the reward of licking spoons or beaters covered in sugar, butter, and chocolate is apparently quite motivating. This year our FAVORITE cookies were these chocolate cream-filled cookies from Paula Deen's Christmas cookbook - they are in a word: incredible. Think homemade Oreos that are big, soft, chewy, and delicious. At our house they've been dubbed "Santa Cookies" as they were the ones we left out for Santa on Christmas Eve. They will be a tradition. Here's the recipe:

Chocolate Sandwich Cookies

Two 18.5-ounce packages of devil's food cake mix

4 Eggs, lightly beaten

2/3 cup vegetable oil

One 8-ounce package cream cheese, sofened

3 cups sifted confectioners' sugar

1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

1. Preheat oven to 350 F. Line cookie sheets with parchment paper.

2. In a large mixing bowl, combine the cake mix, eggs, and oil. Beat with an electric mixer and low speed until completely combined. The batter will be very stiff. Pinch off pieces of batter and roll into 1-inch balls. (This is the part that kids like! Eat a little, roll a little y'know!) Place 1 inch apart on the prepared cookie sheets and flatten slightly with fingertips. Bake 8-10 minutes, until a slight indentation remains when lightly touched. Remove immediately from the cookie sheets with a spatula and cool on wire racks.

3. In a small glass mixing bowl, combine the cream chees and butter until completely blended. Gradually add the sugar and vanilla and mix at low speed until the icing is smooth. Spread icing on half the cookies and top with the remaining cookies. Store in the refrigerator in large resealable plastic bags.

**This makes about 4 dozen, so half it if you're not trying to make enough to give away!

Christmas Weddings

2011-01-15T13:31:00.005-06:00

At the wedding rehearsal. MCM tired but trying to hang in there.

Sweet family. MCM hoping pictures will end soon.

Happy couple!

At Caitlin's beautiful wedding. Pictured here: a groomsman, a bridesmaid, and two precious flower girls!

Even though it's mid-January, I'll regale you with a few tales of Christmas past. This one is about a whirlwind of a wedding - My dear sister-in-law Caitlin's to be exact. It was the week before Christmas - beautiful, festive and fun.

I'll start with pre-wedding sickies:

It started with both girls getting a cold. You know the drill - runny nose like a faucet, low-grade fever, general unhappiness. This lasted for five solid days. Then, MCM showed signs of serious sickness - high fever, lethargy, sore throat, etc. When MCM gets seriously ill she gets this wild look in her eye - hard to describe - but I can recognize it, usually before the sickness sets in. I just see it stirring deep within her! Anywho, turned out it was the flu. The next day Leland came home from work. He had it too. Then it struck me. I kid you not, it came in the night in the form of aches, sudden heat and then chills. I could've sworn death was upon me. I was picturing myself being rolled away on a gurney with my children crying at my side...but it was just the flu. Then Lucy showed all the symptoms. She tested negative twice. Still, she didn't get better, and honestly, neither did MCM. We missed the last week or two of pre-school, and somewhere in there visited the pediatrician about 5 times. The last time (the day we were to leave for Cait's wedding) we found that Lucy had severe ear infections in both ears. Dern those stinkin' ear infections. As if your child having evil fever viruses isn't enough, they usually get capped off by a lingering ear infection. When are they going to start selling self-diagnosis sets over the counter for Moms?

Back to the subject at hand: we went to the weekend of wedding festivities, which was a lot of fun. The girls loved being at Ellie's house and seeing Caitlin's gorgeous wedding dress (Gorgeous ivory lace, cap sleeves, sweetheart neck, fitted with a soft bell at the bottom, keyhole back and a short train. Perfect for Caitlin!) and flowers (which she arranged herself - I wish I had pictures! White, full hydrangeas with white roses, euycalyptus and some sort of berries that which added the perfect bit of color.). Lucy was still pretty crummy, so she missed the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. MCM felt quite grown up being a part of things all by herself. On the wedding day, both girls handled pictures and waiting around like champs. Well, Lucy was a bit on the fussy side. We practically had to wrestle her to the ground to dress her. By the time we were lining up to walk down the aisle, she was in the hallway crying - so ready for a nap. I was sent down the aisle, and the girls weren't too far behind. At the final moment, Lucy rallied! She held MCM's hand and smiled so proudly. A sweet memory! Caitlin was an absolutely stunning bride, and everything was beautiful.

**Random side note:

While we were getting ready at the church, Leland crushed his hand in a folding chair. It was cut deeply and began bleeding profusely. Not only did it hurt like the dickens, but Leland hates the sight of blood and turned white as a sheet! Thankfully, he had the help of his sweet Aunt Emily, who wrapped his finger up tightly in hopes that he could make it through the wedding before having to figure out how badly his finger was cut. At the reception, a friend who is a doctor told him he needed to visit the emergency room right away. So, that's where we went after the wedding! Many thanks to the Vanderbuilt University ER doctors who honestly were the fastest we've ever seen. No stitches, just a bad crush and a good story!

Revival.

2010-12-07T16:19:00.006-06:00

My how she's grown!

We're all still alive and kickin'!

Typical interaction between two very silly girls.

Minnie Mouse! (And the pumpkin who hung around almost until Thanksgiving. Ew.)

Cinderella! SO excited to be trick-or-treating!

Sweet MCM. Notice the bruise on her forehead. MASSIVE bruise from a head butt earlier in the week.

Well, it seems I've taken quite a hiatus from the blog world. Life. It gets busy. Sometimes there simply isn't time to process everything that is happening (good and bad) - not on a blog, not in real life. I just needed to take a good, long break. I think I'm ready to return. However, I make no promises, no vows. I just kinda want to share some stuff...life...the littles...what's happening.

So, above you see my two girls. Precious blessings. MCM is 3 1/2. LCM is 18 months, almost 19. The time has FLOWN, although at times it has not been easy. I am currently reaping the rewards of having 2 children close together in age. They are best buds. I mean, they truly love each other, and it is precious to watch. They are quite different.

MCM is high-energy, active, super talkative and interactive (as in, "play WIT me, mommy!!"). She's occasionally a bit obsessive-comlpulsive, loves routines, loves people, hates change, and is a go-getter. She's also very sensitive, caring, helpful, and often acts like a little adult. I know it sounds strange, but I would actually describe her as responsible. I know 99% of the time I can count on her to do what I ask in regards to helping, taking care of LCM, etc. She's pretty great. She is still a very particular kind of eater, still precarious when it comes to sleep, and loves to go, go, go.

LCM is chilled out, go-with-the-flow, highly independent, loves people, a goof-ball with a great sense of humor - especially for a baby. She's always trying to make us laugh and is quick to get hysterical over things. (For example, during nap time today, she stuck her hand down her dirty diaper, pulled out some poop and threw it on the floor...she thought it was quite hysterical when I saw it and shared with her that she smelled like poopie. Oh, Lulu...) She can entertain herself for long periods of time - to the point that I have to go to her and say, "Lulu, don't you want Mommy to play with you??" She just loves tinkering with things, figuring out how they work and exploring on her own. She is very emotional, sensitive, and sweet, just like big sis.

Honestly, I feel so blessed by these girls. MCM told me the other day (very emphatically) that she doesn't want to grow up. She doesn't want to go out and be alone in the world. I told her she would never be alone, because Jesus is with her. And, she can always come home to Mommy and Daddy anytime she wants. I just hope growing up doesn't happen any time soon.

A few pictures...

2010-02-18T14:23:00.003-06:00

I uploaded these pictures a week ago, and it's taken me a full week to type a few words and hit "publish post". That's one of many examples of my severe lack of motivation right now. There are soooo many things I want to do, but lately I just don't have the will. It's a daily battle.

Anyhow, here are some pictures of our little snowbirds. We had a fabulous snow for the city of Birmingham almost two weeks ago. Daddy got to stay home from work, and we had a nice few days holed up at the homestead together. The following weekend temperatures reached almost 70 degrees. Go figure. It's one of the small pleasures of southern living. It might be frigid today, but there's always the hope that things could be looking up dramatically tomorrow. Let's hope so, since it was 18 degrees here this morning!

Lucy Laughing

2010-02-01T12:11:00.001-06:00

Lucy and I visited with Aunt KK this morning, and Lucy thought KK's dog, Ginger, was pretty hilarious. Enjoy!

We made it.

2010-01-26T16:26:00.003-06:00

1...2...3...JUMP!

Into a big bunch of pillows.

Things are looking up around here. The girls are better, and now we're just trying to get back to a sense of normalcy. MCM has been wearing these pj's a lot...as in, we've been having A LOT of pj days. Getting this child out of pj's is tough lately. She wants to be comfy, and I totally get that. These are her favorite - dogs in Santa hats all over them. They're actually from the boys department at Target. The girls version had kittens, and she's really more of a dog lover, you know.

The Beeb is working a lot. We are SO glad for the weekends when he's home. I'm trying to get motivated to do anything around my house besides cook meals, clean up, and prepare for the next meal. Sometimes all I can do is control the mess - keep it from growing too overwhelming rather than actually cleaning the place from top to bottom. Do you ever get that way? Lucy is waking up every three hours at night (teething? ear infection? who knows.), beginning to feed herself finger foods and LOVING IT and enjoying baths in the big tub with her sister.

So, January, we've almost conquered you. Here's to February...one of my favorite months...when we are looking forward to finding out the gender of KK's baby, having visits from dear friends, the season premiere of LOST, Valentine's day, and last but not least, Step-Sing!

Sick, sick, siiiiiiiiiiick!

2010-01-20T14:51:00.005-06:00

These were actually taken days before Lucy came down with the dreaded double ear infection. It was probably festering, and I didn't even realize it. Both girls have double ear infections. MCM seems to be getting better, but Lucy is oh-so-sick-and-miserable. She's been a pretty sweet girl despite the fact that snot, drool, and tears seem to be pouring out of her face constantly. We have been essentially confined within the four walls of our home since last Thursday, and we are all stir crazy. Please pray for our gals to get better soon!

Ah weekend.

2010-01-16T15:09:00.003-06:00

We're not seeing a lot of this around here...

Or even this...

But there's a whole lot of this. "Mama, I'm siiiiiiiiiiick! My nose is wunning! I'm coughing!"
MCM is sick and wants to be sure everyone knows. She is very miserable, and we're hoping she'll be "all better" soon.

Backtracking

2010-01-14T08:18:00.002-06:00

We had a great Christmas. I feel like I'm just now having time to sit down and reflect upon it. Things have been busy, as usual, and now it's...mid-January? Wow. Anyway, I have a wonderful family, including my sweet mother-in-law Ellie and my angel of a sister-in-law, Caitlin. We have started a new tradition (in it's second year) of hosting everyone here on the little circle in which my sister and I live. I highly recommend living down the street from your sister. Not only does it give everyone a free place to stay, it's like having extra refrigerators and ovens that you don't actually have to pay for! Believe me, we needed them. My husband has adopted trips to Costco as his husbandly duty lately, and there is quite a bit of excess as a result. (picture large amounts of bacon, sausage, and bulk chips and dips - love you, beeb!)

Anyway, we SO enjoy having everyone here. MCM and LCM were in heaven having so much attention and so many people to play with. KK and BT spent Christmas with BT's fam in DC, but they graciously allowed us the use of their home while they were gone. We had our Christmas Eve party there with the usual assortment of appetizers - sausage and cheese plates with Rendezvous sauce, mini-ham sandwiches, Chickfila nuggets, and chips and dips. Healthy, no, but delicious? Yes! Then we all gathered at our place on Christmas morning to watch MCM and LCM take 4 hours to open presents. MCM is at a great age where everything is exciting and magical. She savored every present - opened it, took it out of the package (with the help of scissors, pliers or additional tools needed - what are toys practically pad-locked into their boxes??), and played with it before moving on to the next one. It was great. She still tells me about each thing, "Santa bring me dis!" or "Ellie bought me!" She never forgets where something came from.

Later on the Beeb and I tried our best at creating a fancy Christmas feast. It was delicious, but afterward we were all pooped from playing, cooking, cleaning, eating, etc. I'm pretty sure Christmas night came early for everyone - except MCM, who stayed up later over the holidays than she ever has in her short life!

We had had so much to be thankful for this Christmas. It is always a blessing to have another Christmas to cherish the people you love, but this Christmas we have even more people to cherish. Sweet Lucy is here with us, my brother is engaged to be married to his girlfriend, whom we love, and my sister Kelly is expecting her first baby in July! So many fun things to look forward to!

It's been ages.

2009-12-08T14:30:00.004-06:00

Do you know how long ago I uploaded these and didn't post them? Oh, it's been ages.

I still haven't taken the Christmas pictures off my camera, but maybe I'll have time tonight? We're still in recovery from the holidays, and here it is the middle of January. I hope everyone had a merry Christmas! I won't even attempt to catch up on all that's occurred over the past few months. Let's just pick up like old friends, ok?

So, Lucy is just about 8 months old - how is that possible?? She isn't crawling yet, but it won't be long. I am quite ready for her to take on a little mobility. The mere ability to sit up has transformed our daily activities, because the world is much more fun when you can sit upright and see it, no? She is such a sweetheart. She loves playing anywhere near MCM or with any of MCM's toys. She loves singing. She hums and laughs a lot. She says Dada and Mama - crazy - I know, but it's as clear as a bell and especially common when fussing or crying. She is a social butterfly like her big sister, but she does not like being without Mama for long. The separation anxiety is intense, but perhaps she'll grow out of that soon? Oh, how I long for her to be able to tolerate the church nursery for any amount of time! She is eating 3 meals of solids a day. The girl loves everything I give her! It's so great! And she's still nursing 6-8 times a day. This time around nursing hasn't been the most fun. I'm grateful to be able to breastfeed, but it's just a different ballgame when there's a toddler bouncing around at your feed 24/7. Lucy is into the distracted phase, so it seems to take for-ev-er for her to eat if there's anything of remote interest in the room. Since there's almost always is...you get the idea. Ah, but here we are. 8 months in. She still doesn't sleep through the night, although things are much better than they were a few months ago. Oy, let's not even go there. Mostly, she's just growing up incredibly fast. She is a sweet, snuggly baby and such a joy to us! She has a quiet and loving spirit and is so curious about every little thing. I can't wait to hear what's going on in that little head!

MCM is 2 1/2 going on at least 5 or 6. What a bundle of energy and words! She talks non-stop and literally bounces around like a live wire from the minute she wakes up until the minute she goes to sleep! 2 is such an incredible age! It's like her mind and body are both constantly racing from all the new things she's learning and processing every day. Wow. It wears me out, but it's wonderful at the same time. I can really see the last of her babyness fading away. She's even looking less like a toddler and more like a little girl. She loves to help me with anything and everything. She likes to help load and unload the laundry, cook dinner (which is really just standing next to me on a stool, sticking her fingers in everything and tasting it!), pick up toys (and pull them back out again), dust the furniture, and take care of Lucy. She really is the sweetest big sister ever! She loves to hold, kiss and tickle Lucy, and it cracks me up, because she talks to her just like she sees all the grown-ups around her talk to her ("he-wo woocie baby! you such a sweet baybee! teekle teekle teekle!"). She is really into pretending and plays constantly with her "people" - the family that goes with her dollhouse. It's literally all she does. The people have a minivan and they go all over the house. She loves them so much. She is mostly potty trained. I still have her in diapers at naptime and bedtime, although I could probably transition out of that if I had the will. Eh. She's done awesome with it though. The hardest part was training myself to remember to take her to the bathroom!

I absolutely love having these little girls in my life. Although they've basically consumed my world these past 8 months, I do see things getting easier. I am hopeful that as they begin to play with each other, Lucy begins to get around on her own, etc., I might actually find time to do things that I like to do again, ahem, like blog. I think I just lost the will to do it over the past few months, but that's how this motherhood thing goes sometimes. The really intense times don't last forever, but there are times when we are laying down our lives for our children. Period. So, welcome 2010. New year, new things, new times to be had with this sweet family of mine.

Streamlining

2009-09-26T10:03:00.002-05:00

No, your computer isn't messing up my layout. I'm tightening things up around here a bit. Just got tired of seeing so much "stuff" on the page. Later.

Something Sweet

2009-09-26T09:30:00.005-05:00

Two little sweeties before bedtime.

And a recipe you for which you will thank me.

Go bake these cookies today. Yes, I am a bad blogger for not having an uber-close-up picture of a freshly baked cookie along with the recipe. You will simply have to trust me that these are delicious and every bit worth the effort!

(you'll find this recipe all over the internet, but I'm re-typing it here in my own words)

Big, chewy, chocolate chip cookies!

2 cups plus 2 Tbsp all-purpose flour
1/2 Tsp baking soda
1/2 Tsp salt
12 Tbsp (1 1/2 sticks of butter - unsalted - don't use margerine!) melted and cooled until warm
1 cup packed light brown sugar
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 large egg plus 1 egg yolk (creating the chewiness! best if the eggs are room temperature)
2 Tsp real vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups semisweet chocolate chips (I used Godiva)

Pre-heat oven to 325.
Whisk dry ingredients together. Set aside.
With an electric mixer or by hand stir together melted butter and sugars until well combined.
Add egg, egg yolk and vanilla and mix until well combined.
Slowly add dry ingredients and beat slowly until just combined.
Carefully stir in chocolate chips.

Roll dough into a ball roughly 1/2 cup at a time and pull apart into 2 equal halves. This creates the perfect size cookie! Place balls on a cookie sheet with plenty of space between cookies. Bake until edges begin to golden or turn under and middles still look soft. Do not overbake! Start with 10 minutes and go up from there. Enjoy!

Firsts

2009-09-25T14:18:00.005-05:00

MCM went to her first day of Mother's Day Out last week. I wish I had a picture of her all suited up with a backpack or something, but here she is with her dear friend Mousy ("Missy" in MCM speak). She also has a sweet old-school lunch box (the metal kind) with the Disney princesses on it.

LCM is now big enough to sit in the Bumbo for short periods of time. This is where she ate her first taste of big people food! (well, organic rice cereal mixed with breastmilk - hardly a "big person" meal)

She took to it quite well, although I think later it made her tummy hurt. Lately I could see that she's been wanting to be a part of mealtimes. It's no fun to be left out while everyone else is eating! She loves to be involved in everything going on around her - especially whatever her big sister is doing!

MCM finally go a haircut! It was really just a trim to even it all up. Her bangs still fall in her face constantly, because she takes her bows out. I couldn't bear to let them cut bangs though!

We went to Sweet and Sassy, which is a beauty salon for little girls. It's a pretty genius concept - totally cutesy and girlie. They had flat screens all over the place playing Lady and the Tramp (MCM's dream!). And there was a little girl birthday party going on where they were all in dress up clothes, singing and dancing, sporting fresh up-do's and having a grand old time. MCM LOVED it! She might have thought the party had to do with her new haircut, because she hasn't stopped talking about it since! We left with a souvenir photo of "baby's first haircut" which has since been loved to pieces. MCM carried it around for over a week and even wanted to sleep with it. Ah, the beginnings of narcissism! She is pretty cute though...

Still Here

2009-09-24T16:04:00.002-05:00

We're still alive, folks. I've officially become one of those bloggers who doesn't blog. Man, that gets on my nerves. I'm getting on my own nerves. Not to make excuses, but life with two little bitties is extremely busy and at times more overwhelming than I would like to admit. Free time...there's not much of it. When I do have it, I usually find myself either sitting and staring or (rarely) trying to do something productive like fold the mountains of laundry that keep popping up. But, we're still here.

LCM is 4 1/2 months old. MCM is fully two and everything that means. I keep thinking life is going to get easier and we'll get on top of things around here soon, but it hasn't happened yet. Between waking up with LCM at night (no, she shows no sign of sleeping through the night) and MCM's early rising (rarely past 6:30 am), I am a bit of a walking zombie. There have been some milestones that will need recording soon...MCM's first day of Mother's Day Out, her first haircut, LCM's first taste of rice cereal, and her first trip to Nashville. There's a lot to catch up on, so expect those catch-up posts soon.

I Love These Girls.

2009-08-17T20:49:00.003-05:00

This girl makes me laugh....even though she looks a bit like a crazy person covered in leg tats. They're just stickers.

This girl has so many smiles. Each one revives a little piece of me that mostly wants to cry over how exhausted I am and how I used to be an somewhat interesting person, not just a Mom.

Three Months Old

2009-08-05T14:13:00.004-05:00

Hanging out watching MCM, as usual.

I just rolled over!

Here I go again!

It's pretty cool learning to do things.

Snuggle time with my favorite two-year-old.

LCM is three-months-old. That is so hard to believe, but it's true. She is growing up MUCH too fast! It's amazing how I can already see her wanting to do the things her sister does. She rolled over last week for the first time. She is so strong for a little gal! She's holding her head up, and trying so hard to sit up - though that's not going to happen anytime soon.

Things are so different the second time around. I am more laid back, and she is a much more laid back girl than MCM. Still, we've had our moments. She's been struggling with tummy troubles. I'll spare you the details, but basically her poop is messed up and we're not sure why. I've changed my diet and we've tried getting probiotics into her. So far it seems better for a few days and then worse again. When her tummy hurts, she cries like a mad woman - red-faced screaming and constant interrupted sleep. Not fun.

However, when she's not hurting, she is a delight. She has a very sweet way about her, always looking around with big eyes and taking everything in. She "talks" a lot, and sometimes it almost sounds like words. She laughs and smiles and loves it when you talk or sing to her. She loves to watch MCM and doesn't seem to mind her constant hugs and kisses. She's definitely growing into a social being and loves to be right in the mix as long as you'll let her - through naps and even in the middle of the night! At night she's sleeping about 5-6 hours in the early evening, has one middle of the night feeding, and then sleeps on for 5-6 more hours. I'm so thrilled to see her do that on her own! Maybe she'll sleep through the night in the next month or so? She's still sleeping in our room, which I have really enjoyed. If for some reason she has a hard time going to sleep I'll lay her right next to me, and she LOVES it so much. I must say, those are sweet moments with her so close and sleeping. (not to mention I can feed her and sleep right through it) I am going to have a hard time moving her to her room, but I think that's coming soon.

I'm not sure what her stats are at this point as far as weight and length, but my best guess is that she's close to 12 lbs now. She is growing so much every week, and she literally looks more mature every day! She already looks different than these pictures, which were taken last week. I'm trying to stay on top of picture taking, but it is very difficult with 2 babies to care for!

A Lady and Two Babies, One With No Shoes.

2009-08-01T13:40:00.003-05:00

That was me yesterday afternoon wandering down our street with a tear running down my face, holding one baby in my arms and another by the hand as she hobbled down the street shoeless repeating, "Bye-bye! Bye-bye!" in between sobs. We were evacuating the house.

MCM was exhausted, and LCM wouldn't sleep. I was simultaneously making dinner for LCM (and making her eat it - two separate acts) and trying to coax LCM to sleep, when all the sudden an incredibly loud, high-pitched sound started going off all over the house. I ran down the hall to the alarm system, trying to figure out how to stop the screeching, when I realized perhaps I should remove my infant child from the noise before her ear drums burst. Then, I looked up to see MCM in her high chair screaming and crying with her hands over her ears. In one swoop, I snatched her up and ran them both out of the house thinking there's either an intruder or a fire. We left so quickly that I didn't close the door to the house. I was holding the baby and trying to comfort MCM (who also wanted to be held). After deducing the situation, I realized there was no good way to go back in the house and figure out the problem - couldn't leave MCM there to cry - she was already terrified - couldn't leave the baby sitting alone in the grass or take her back into the noise, so we started over to the neighbor's house. Nobody home. Then, on down the street (This is all about 6:30 PM. Daddy still not home from work. No cell phone, no keys, no nothing.) I figured we'd have to walk down the street with or without shoes, until I noticed two young girls with a baby about 6 houses down. I yanked MCM down the street and approached the ladies (while sort-of crying) and asked if they could kindly hold my babies while I run down the street to get my car keys. Just then I see Leland pull into the driveway. We were so far down the street, he couldn't see us. He was pretty sure we'd been kidnapped. So, I thank the kind ladies, and yank MCM back down the street - she's balling now because we're going back toward the scary noise). By the time we get back to the house, Leland comes out and realizes that indeed, we're alive, but the fire alarms all over the house are going off simultaneously for no apparent reason. Even after removing the batteries, they continue to go off. So, he packs us up in my car and we go down to KK and BT's house. KK graciously bathes MCM, who is quite covered in apple juice from her meal. I feed LCM who has been awake for God knows how many hours. BT goes to help Leland make the noise stop. Now all fire alarms have been removed and holes with wires hanging out are left all over the house. (We have an abundance of fire alarms) Now MCM is scared to go to sleep. Now MCM is scared of the hole in her wall. Now MCM is refusing to nap, because the noise might come back...and her teeth hurt...and her eye (which she calls blink - "blink hurt!!)...and she needs to poop every 5 minutes. LCM went to sleep after showing off her best blood-curling screams for me and for Leland. This is a mere snapshot of the week we've had. It is never ending.

Photo Friday (still no time to chat)

2009-07-31T14:17:00.001-05:00

I don't have a lot of time, but I do have pictures.

2009-07-23T14:57:00.003-05:00

I'll add actual words later...

Super Close Up

2009-07-15T14:24:00.002-05:00

MCM, it sure is good that you're so cute.

Naps...we're 1 for 3 so far. Monday, yes there was crying, but eventually there was a nap. Sure, it was shorter than usual but it was substantial enough, and we've been praising her like crazy for being such a great napper. Tuesday, more crying, then quiet until I noticed a new scenario - playing quietly in her room (so that Mommy won't hear) instead of sleeping. We got the no crying thing down, but it's still the SLEEP that is missing. Today...working on hour #2 of trying to get her to go to sleep. 2 big poops (the child actually holds her poops for naptime - manipulative poops, people!!!), some crying, probably 45 minutes of playing when I thought she was sleeping, but NO SLEEP. I'm not beating a dead horse hear, folks. The child has been falling down tired since about 10:00 AM. I hear her singing right now. It should be cute, but it's not!!!!!! Where is the sleep??????

Between the absent naps, Lucy's crying (oh so much crying), and the fact that Bachelorette Jillian let Bachelor Reid go, I am just not loving this week...not at all.

Sleep Begets Sleep

2009-07-14T15:01:00.002-05:00

That is the most true statement from any sleep book out there if you ask me. (Weissbluth - Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child) It's my mantra as I make this week about getting MCM back into her sleeping routine.

I came to a conclusion after dealing with the daily tantrum all last week. We've worked so hard to acclimate MCM to life with a little sister that we've perhaps gone overboard in reassuring her. We've tried to spend as much time with her as possible, so at naptime and bedtime we've spent more time than usual settling down with her. Before LCM, at nap she would often crawl into bed and want to go right to sleep. Sometimes I would lay down with her and read one book and snuggle for a minute. Since LCM arrived, I've been inclined to say yes to many of her requests, meaning, "You want to read three books before nap instead of two? Okay, sure! You want me to lay here until you're almost asleep? Sure!" I think we've overcompensated for our new situation enough that we've gotten off track a little bit. This is not to say that I take full responsibility for MCM's behavior by any means. It just means that for her, there's safety in sticking to the routine. When I relax it too much, she just can't stay within the boundaries of what works for her. So, this week we're sticking to the usual routine. Nap begins between 12:30 and 1:30 PM, and bedtime is between 7:00 and 7:30 PM - no later! It drives me crazy that there's any variation in time, but that's just life right now - especially when there's only one of me to go around. As soon as they begin cloning mothers, I'll get Courtney #2 to put MCM to sleep. Maybe she will handle the crying a little better.

Seriously though, I'm doing everything humanly possible to maintain an air of calm and patience at these times. But I'll tell you, by about 4:00 PM - even if they both nap - I'm running out of steam. By 6:00 PM I'm cursing under my breath, and by 7:00 if things aren't happening like they should, I'm unraveling. Thankfully, that is about the time Leland comes home, and I can mentally give myself a little bit of a break even though with a toddler and an infant - especially one that breastfeeds around the clock - it never, ever stops. One day just rolls into the next, because I no longer function in 24-hour intervals. It's just one feeding to the next...on and on until who knows when. And, yes, I am tired...

...Wait, I forget the whole sleeping through the night thing. I literally forget that's possible, since MCM didn't sleep through the night until over a year. Maybe LCM will get that whole sleep thing down soon. I still have no idea how that could possibly happen, especially since she's been enjoying eating about every 2 1/2 hours at night lately. Her longest stretch of sleep happens between about 6:00 PM and 12:00 AM. Not sure why babies do that. I have the choice each night of either going to sleep and getting woken up an hour or so later, or staying awake and being completely exhausted the next day. What do you do? Again, I find it's better to never wake a sleeping baby (Weissbluth), and I hope that sleep will beget sleep.

The Force is Strong With This One

2009-07-10T13:00:00.003-05:00

The Heights.

She looks so angelic, doesn't she? Lots of the time she acts angelic too. And then there are other times...

The Depths.

Today is the first day MCM has taken a nap since last Saturday. What the...

Not only has she not napped, she has thrown knock-down-drag-out full-on tantrums regarding the nap. Every. Single. Day. The worst day was Tuesday. I literally felt like I was in an episode of Supernanny. My child who only a week ago would gladly crawl into the bed and fall asleep immediately at nap time decided she would disappear. All at once I was concerned for the safety of this new MCM, who was acting like a caged tiger, completely hurt that she was acting so crazy, furious at her for her behavior and overwhelmed with how much I love her and want to do anything in my power to help her or comfort her. These "tantrums" if they can be called that, have lasted for hours each day. Hours. All week I've gone back and forth about how to handle this situation. I'm only learning about discipline. I certainly don't have the answers. In fact, I have no answers. (Please don't leave comments about answers or the books where I might find them.) I just happen to be a person who despises conflict and would gladly run as far from this situation as possible given the opportunity. Unfortunately, this is my child, and she must be dealt with. I feel a bit like I've been in a torture chamber all week. Perhaps this is what it feels like to be waterboarded?

If you're not blessed with a high-needs child, you just have no idea how far they can push you to the brink of insanity. That's where I have been teetering all week...hanging by a thread on about 4 hours of sleep at night and zero moments of peace when I've been awake (and about 1 meal a day, since that's about all there's been time for). I've been so tense, I've had to remind myself to breathe.

Oh, and I also have another child who needs to be fed/diapered/held/parented. It's awesome, especially because 90% of my day is spent meeting the needs of my high-needs child. She is spectacular and spectacularly demanding. I love her so much it literally hurts. The heights and the depths. She embodies it. Our relationship embodies it. And I'm not sure if I'm thankful for that or not.

My husband and I have concluded that a lot of her difficulty stems from how intelligent she is. Nothing gets past this child. Sometimes attempting to discipline her feels like trying to discipline an grown-up. She's so bright, it's ridiculous, at times, maddening (occasionally funny too). We've concluded that if we can just get through this time, she's obviously destined for greatness no matter what she does. No one with her amount of persistence, determination and will of iron couldn't be, right?

Oh wait, she's crying already. Today's successful (?) nap lasted all of 20 minutes. You've got to be freaking kidding me...

Isn't She Lovely?

2009-07-02T20:35:00.002-05:00

It's hard to believe, but LCM is 7 weeks old. It's been a whirlwind, but somehow she's been with us for almost 2 months. In some ways it feels like much longer. I actually have to remind myself that she's as new as she is. Despite everything she's been through, she is still mostly a laid back girl. She rolls with the punches as well as any baby could, and I'm happy to say she is eating and sleeping like a champ. At her 1 month doctor's appointment she had gained 2 pounds and grown 2 inches. Last night she slept for 7 1/2 hours straight. Don't ask me about that one - could be a total fluke. I still don't quite understand how a baby can sleep like that, but it is very nice!! She is definitely her own little person, completely different than MCM, precious in her own little Lucy way. Her newest trick is the social smile. I'm a little obsessed with getting a smile out of her. It makes me so happy! She's also making the switch from brown hair to blond hair and is rocking blond roots with brown tips. Somehow she is managing to look more and more like her sister while at the same time looking an awful lot like her Mama's baby pictures. She's a pretty cute kiddo, if I do say so myself :)

Birthday Girl

2009-06-28T14:22:00.008-05:00

Daddy and his girl. She was wanting her hands wiped. She does not like dirty hands.

Mommy, Daddy and sweet MCM.

I can't believe she actually smiled for a picture with me! (Yes, my hair is conspicuously darker. I'm trying to venture back to my "natural" color. This is a bit darker than it actually is...I think.)

More attempts at a family pic. Couldn't subject Lulu to the sun and heat though.

Getting a hug from her buddy, Sam.

Sam pulled MCM in her wagon just like she was the princess!

Then Daddy pulled his princesses...

Cake!

As soon as she saw the cake she stuck her fingers right in it! That's my girl! She loves the icing best.

Pop, Nana, and Lucy looking deep in thought.

KK was the only one who wore my Pooh ears. She and BT also went above and beyond picking up the cake and decorating everything.

Heat/cake/sugar coma.

But that doesn't stop her!

Trying so hard to escape posing for pictures.

Icing mustache.

"Me?" It took her a second to understand that the presents were indeed for her.

Guess what? It's a little hot outside for a party at the park, but we did it anyway. We weren't the only ones...Julie from The Real World New York was having a party for one of her kids too at the the pavilion next to us. (For all you youngins reading this, I'm talking about the 1st cast in NYC - not the crappy re-do a few years ago.)

Anyway, MCM finally had a birthday party, and it turned out great. There was sunshine, a cool breeze and cupcakes for all. Cake is really the only thing that matters to MCM as far as birthdays are concerned, cake and singing "Happy Birthday" - she loves it, and I've sung it to her many times this week. Thanks go the whole family for showing up. She loves to see you all, and I know she is a child who feels so loved by so many people!

At two years old...

She has 3 best friends - Blue dog, Snuggle, and Minnie Mouse. She takes them everywhere and talks to them all day long. They are invovled in all of our games around the house. We even hold hands with them at night when we say our prayers. Seriously.
She loves to play pretend with her toys. This is new, because before she always had to have me play with her. Now she tinkers around with her dolls and dollhouses and yes, even Thomas the Train and makes up little stories and dialogue. So cute.
She sings! She loves Twinkle Twinkle Little Star right now. I hear her singing it in bed with her 3 buddies every night. She also sings a song that resembles "Dumb Dog" from Annie. Mostly she just sings "Doooogeeee doooogeeee dooogeee!" over and over. It makes me laugh.
She talks up a storm. Especially lately she is coming up with new sentences every day. When we go places in the car she narrates the whole time. Hysterical. It's amazing to be able to communicate with her!
She loves her little sister. She asks about her first thing in the morning and as soon as she wakes up for naps. She tries to take care of her - offering her the paci when she cries and always wanting to hold and kiss her. Today she heard Lucy crying her room and ran to tell me. I said, "Is she crying?" and she said, "Paci." I said, "Do I need to give her a paci?" And she said, "Me." As in, "Me do it." So funny!
On the same note, she loves to mother her stuffed animals and toys. I think half of them are wearing Lucy's newborn diapers right now. We diaper them, give them bottles, burp them, and put them to night night all day long...even the trains.
She still loves dogs more than anything.
She still loves books and is growing into books with more words. Current faves: The Little Engine That Could, Caps for Sale, and her children's Bible.
She loves cartoons, mostly Disney movies. Her favs are Jungle Book, The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (watched almost daily), and Peter Pan.
She can throw a ball better than any two-year-old I've ever seen. The girl can aim. You better watch out!
She loves to do anything physical - dancing, running, jumping, skipping. She is a ball of energy.
She still has babas (bottles) every day and her paci! Not sure when I'll ever make her give those up...
She takes one afternoon nap that hits between 12:30 and 1:00 PM usually. She sleeps like a champ in her big girl bed and still goes to bed at 7:00 PM!
She is still one of the pickiest eaters around, but I feel like we're starting to make some headway in that department.
She is completely read to be potty trained. She's done number 1 and number 2 in the potty, but I've been really lazy about making the total transition, because of all the craziness we've had going on. It's coming soon though!!

MCM, we love you more than words could ever say! You are a blessing indeed!

Two Years Old

2009-06-25T08:06:00.006-05:00

The sweet face in anticipation of a sweet treat...

But first she wants to kiss her sissy (every time she gets a chance).

And give a cheek snuggle.

Now it's time to get down to birthday business!

The next day she decided she wanted to be swaddled too.

And then she broke the swaddle for a nose pick. She didn't learn it from watching me...heh...but it looks like her sister is learning from watching her!

We still haven't officially celebrated MCM's birthday, but Monday we did manage to have a little fun...a trip to The Kids Gym, a grilled cheese at The Diplomat and most importantly, Lucy's napping afforded us the chance to spend the whole afternoon outside playing together - MCM's favorite and mine. I love this girl so much. She has turned our lives upside down and filled them with more joy and love than we could imagine. What a blessing you are MCM!

Sick Lucy

2009-06-21T14:58:00.006-05:00

This is what a very sick baby looks like.

What a time this has been. Some of you know, and some of you don't, but last weekend Lucy became very sick. She was acting a little strange on Saturday and Sunday - sleeping more, fussier, etc. - but because she is so new, I thought maybe this is just a new side of her we're getting to see. She wasn't coughing, sneezing, etc., just acting a little different than before. Then on Sunday night she became increasingly fussy, breaking into intense cries pretty much every time we picked her up or touched her at all. About 3:00 AM Monday morning we took her temperature, and it was 102.5. Most of you know that is extremely scary for a newborn. We weren't sure what to do, so we tried to cool her down, gave her the slightest dose of Tylenol, and then took her temperature gain a little later. It was lower, so we decided to wait until morning to go to the doctor. Sure enough, by about 6:00 AM it was back up again, so we took her to the doctor (shout out to Dr. Casey), who sent us straight to the hospital.

This was all new to us, because MCM has been such a healthy baby. We got to the ER and they had to do what they call "a full septic workup" - (something they have to do for all babies less than 8 weeks old who run fevers) a urine test with a catheter, drawing blood (inserting an IV), spinal tap (!!), and usually a chest x-ray, but that was one thing we were able to escape. We had to let our poor 4-week-old baby get poked and prodded and listen to her scream bloody murder while the doctors did these things...knowing they're necessary to make sure something is not horribly wrong, but also just wanting to say no to all of them, because it seems so cruel for a little baby to go through that! Particularly the spinal tap...which tests for meningitis - something you don't want to mess with. We felt we couldn't say no, but after watching her go through it...5 times, yes, it took 5 TIMES until they were able to get spinal fluid...let's just say I'm practically having nightmares about the whole experience. Poor Lucy literally cried so hard that she just eventually fell asleep (or passed out) while they were doing it. It makes me want to cry just thinking about it.

Then we were admitted to the hospital where we stayed from Monday until Friday. Lucy ran high fevers for 4 days straight, which was extremely scary. I have never in my life seen a baby that sick, or even a child that sick. The whole experience felt like we were torturing her, but we were just doing everything we could do to make her better. Every test ame back negative, and ultimately the doctors decided it was some sort of fever virus that would just have to run it's course. Things like that are super common for bigger kids like MCM, but in an infant they are SCARY!

It was a horrible week on so many levels. We are so thankful that Lucy is home and doing better, but now we are dealing with the cumulative effects of a very stressful 5 weeks. Obviously, Leland and I have not gotten much rest. He has been sick and I have been with Lucy 24/7. Lucy has been having a hard time, because the experience at the hospital was so traumatic for her. It makes me sad that my formerly laid back baby is now so fussy and unhappy, but it has seemed to improve every day this week. We're praying that the Lord will give her peace in her heart and erase every memory of what she went through from her mind. Most of all we are grateful to the Lord that she is home and healthy.

MCM has been a trooper through all of this - especially the fact that Mommy was gone for 5 days - much longer than any time we've been apart before. She is such a sweetheart. She understood that Lucy was sick and every time I talked to her on the phone she would ask, "Sister? Sister?" trying to make sure Lucy was okay. I know they are going to have a special relationship one day!

We're all glad to be together again, especially because this week was MCM's second birthday! We'll be having an official celebration this weekend, and maybe I'll actually have time to post pictures of that one promptly. Happy birthday MCM!

Wordless Wednesday

2009-06-10T13:34:00.001-05:00

Don't you wish you could be this happy every day?

The Many Faces of Lucy

2009-06-09T19:57:00.002-05:00

The alien face...

Okay, I'm not even sure what to call this one. It just makes me laugh.

"Whatchu talkin' 'bout Willis?"

I promise she really is a very pretty baby. For some reason I can't seem to get a good picture of her! Last week she broke out in a horrible case of baby acne that was still hanging around for these pictures. This week it's clearing up, but of course I have yet to pull out my camera. I guess it's true that it's nearly impossible to take as many pictures of the second baby as you did of the first. I'm going to try though!

I really would love to write more, but I'm not sure when that's going to happen...

The New Normal

2009-06-02T13:53:00.004-05:00

"Cheese."

Isn't she so pretty?

Like a little model with her intense gaze.

And her sister, looking very Brown family-esque if you ask me.

It's hard to get a good picture of a baby lying down. Can you see the color of her hair though? Dark blonde. So pretty with those navy blue eyes!

I know you all just really want to see pictures, and I'm trying to stay on top of that.

Life has been a little crazy around here. Generally speaking, I know the next 6 months to, let's face it, a year are going to be crazy. The first year of a child's life is pretty consuming for the dedicated parent. I remember referring to MCM's first year as "her" year. I realized that no matter what plans I had, things were basically about her - especially because she's a bit of a high maintenance girl. This year, will likely be similar, although I expect it to tax me in a new way as I hope to dedicate as much time and energy to LCM's special year, while never letting MCM feel as if she's taken the back-burner. It's hard. Really, really, hard.

MCM and I are extremely close...as close as I could imagine being to any child. I wouldn't trade that for the world, but I do think it makes it extra hard for her to let go of me a little bit. I don't feel like she's missed out on attention much at all - Lord knows, I've been killing myself to spend every free minute with her. But, I can see that it makes her feel a little insecure when she sees me hold and care for LCM. In fact, those are the moments she wants to sit in my lap, be picked up, or have me sit and play with her.

Being the sweet girl that she is, none of this has affected her feelings toward her baby sister. She loves her and does nothing but try to cuddle her and kiss her - and of course cries every time LCM cries. (Empathy is good, I know, but must it be so loud??) However, she has been throwing her inner sense of animosity straight at her Mommy, and it has definitely been a difficult time for both of us.

I know we're in a new phase, and we're all adjusting to the new normal around here, but can anyone tell me exactly how long it might take her to adjust to things? Tips, advice, commiseration are especially appreciated from those who would describe any of their children as "spirited" or "high needs" or "strong willed"...

Sisters

2009-05-30T09:12:00.004-05:00

Blurry, yes, but still cute. You also can't tell, but LCM is tucked in the sling behind MCM. Promise she wasn't suffocating, just sleeping.

Biiiiig yawn. She sleeps a lot...so far.

MCM is working hard to be the best big sister ever. Honestly, she seems to love her sister and is definitely growing into quite a little nurturer. Such a sweetheart.

LCM doesn't seem to mind all the kisses and hugs she gets from her big sister either. She seems to be a pretty laid back girl. Other than that, I'm afraid to make pronouncements about her temperament. All I can say is that it's apparent that they have very different little personalities, and one of them is keeping me lots busier than the other. You can probably guess which one...

Promise a real update is coming soon! Gotta go feed a baby though...

At the doctor...

2009-05-22T07:54:00.003-05:00

LCM had her first doctor's appointment Wednesday. MCM came too with my Mom to watch out for her. She was pretty interested in making sure LCM was okay, and I think she was really glad it wasn't an appointment where she is the one being fooled with. Guess what though? It's really hard to get a decent picture of two little ones!!

LCM doesn't like things like diaper changes and doctor's exams, but she barely cried at the doctor! She lost 6 oz before we left the hospital, but she regained 12 oz the first week at home and grew a half inch! Yay for LCM! My milk came in the day we got home, but it always SO feels good to hear that your baby is growing like she should! Other than that, there's not much to tell about our appointment. She looks healthy and normal. Right now she's eating great and sleeping most of the time. I still feel like it's too early to make proclamations about her temperament, but she has been nothing but laid back and as sweet as can be. It has really been a pleasure to savor her smallness and sweetness. She is just so tiny and delicate and beautiful! I am having a blast with MCM as she gets older - probably now more than ever - but I also feel like I'm able to appreciate LCM's babyhood in a way that I couldn't with MCM. I was such a stressed out new Mommy!

Big sister keeping an eye on little sister. She does NOT like hearing LCM cry! She says, "Mama, help!" when LCM really gets going. She has such a compassionate little heart. :)

Another attempt to get MCM to say "cheese" and poor LCM looking like a munchkin in the car seat.

Sweet girls.

Big Sister

2009-05-21T19:18:00.002-05:00

This is MCM's "big sister" present - her first Thomas the Train set. She's been a fan of the choo choo for a while, but she is SO excited to have "Tommy" in her very own house now.

The hat is courtesy of LCM - the newborn cap she wore at the hospital. MCM likes to put it on her head and the whip it off and wear it herself. Ahh, sisters. :)

Birth Story

2009-05-16T19:12:00.004-05:00

I know you're curious, or at least I always am when someone I know has a baby! So, here's the story. There probably will be some details that won't be appreciated by the opposite sex, so bear with me or skip reading if you want to.

Last Tuesday (one week ago!) I went in for my weekly doctor's appointment. I was dilated to 2 cm, which I had been for the 2 previous weeks, about 50 percent effaced and the baby was very low. Still, things had been like that for a while. I was feeling VERY pregnant and anxious about when this baby was going to arrive, not to mention huge, uncomfortable and tired. My doctor offered to sweep my membranes during the exam, quickly separates the lower part of the amniotic sac from the uterus. It's not a big deal (some people think it's quite painful, but for me it was not) but it is known to stir up hormones that will induce labor in women whose bodies are otherwise ready. I hadn't thought about it a lot, but I gave the go ahead and my doctor said he predicted he'd see me in the morning to have a baby.

That afternoon I felt fairly normal, and in the evening I actually felt as if I had fewer contractions than previous evenings. I was able to get a mostly full night's sleep but awoke around 4:30 AM to contractions that were just different enough from what I'd been having to alert me that they might be the real deal. By 5:30 AM or so I woke Leland up to let him know that I thought today was the day. The contractions were coming about 5 minutes apart, a minute to a minute and a half long, but they were manageable at that point. We were both able to get up and shower, pack last minute things, call our families and even got to spend a few minutes with MCM when she woke up. It meant so much to me to be able to hug her and tell her that we'd see her a little later on that day!

We headed to the hospital around 7:15 AM, and by then my contractions were becoming fairly intense. They were about every 4 minutes, and of course the car ride made them a little more powerful. We had no real idea where we were going when we got to the hospital, which was ridiculous! I was definitely thinking I'd be crawling down the hallway if they didn't get me where I needed to go via wheelchair! Then we had to spend an inordinate amount of time in triage while we waited for the nurses to "make a plan" and "prepare a room" for us. Pretty annoying. By the time they checked, I was dilated between 4 1/2 and 5 - a little earlier in labor than I'd hoped to be at the hospital, but of course I was assured that with your second labor things will go in half the time they did during the first go around. Plus, I was positive for group B strep and knew the doctor would want to get at least one round of antibiotics in me before the baby was born.

There was a lot of hospital hoopla, paperwork, waiting, monitoring, having to be stuck in the bed when the most comfortable position for me to labor was standing up and leaning over the bed when I needed to. My contractions followed a nice pattern and never slowed too terribly, but I definitely think things would've moved faster if I hadn't been stuck in bed for so long. By the time we were able to walk around, things started moving more quickly. I had planned to have an unmedicated birth this time, but I don't think the nurses really believed me until I was dilated to 7 cm and still somehow managing to remain remarkably calm and controlled during the contractions. Thank God there are breaks between contractions, because otherwise I don't think I would've survived. I just tried to completely relax and zone out and let my body do it's job. It worked! I will say that I was feeling pretty proud of myself and even had some moments there where I thought I might actually deliver this baby without getting to a point where I thought I would completely lose it from the pain. I was wrong!

My doctor came in when the nurses had decided I was about 8 cm dilated. This was around 1:00 PM. Mind you, they brought in everything for the delivery around noon, because they were completely convinced that I was going to speed through the transition phase of labor and this baby would be born fast! I decided to let the doctor break my water and was totally thinking I'd have LCM within the hour. Not so. My contractions majorly intensified at this point, and I don't even know what to say about it except that it was the worst pain of my entire life, and it only got worse. For some reason my body just wasn't progressing past 8 cm, even though every sign pointed to the fact that this baby was going to be born soon! 2:00 PM rolled by. 3:00 PM rolled by. I still was fortunate to have breaks between my contractions where I could relax as much as possible, but when they came, they came hard and long...it. was. horrible. I was finally starting to lose confidence in my ability to get through it, especially because I was so tired, hungry, worn out and mentally losing focus at that point. Leland, my Mom and my sister were there with me, and I honestly could not have done it without them. Just having them there was a huge support.

4:00 PM came, and I was starting to feel some pressure with each contraction. It was subtle at first, and I still wasn't completely dilated. (Apparently it's a pretty dangerous situation if you feel the need to push without being completely dilated. The nurse said I could rupture my cervix, and I'm like, Oh great! Thanks for giving me something else to worry about!) Then, from one contraction to the next, I felt a major, uncontrollable urge to push. In fact, it was like my body was actually pushing without me even trying. It was insane!!! Somehow the doctor showed up right then, and it felt like everyone moved so quickly. I'm not sure if they even checked to see if I was 10 cm. I was ready to get the baby out! Pushing actually felt better, because it distracted me from the pain of the contractions. I just wanted to work hard, because I was SO ready to hold LCM and for all of it to be over. After about 30 minutes, Lucy's head was about to make an appearance. I kept hearing everyone saying how much hair she had, and I wanted to see that little girl so badly! So, after another big push, her head came out and the rest of her with it. It was so amazing!! They gave her right to me, and I was able to hold for what seemed like an extra long time. The first thing I noticed was her very long fingers and little hands that looked just like mine. What a precious girl!!

It felt like my body was in shock, but it was over! I didn't have to push the placenta out. I guess it just happened on it's own. I was too busy being thrilled it was over, snuggling LCM and just being amazed that I survived that ordeal!! I think Leland was in shock too. It was such an incredible, intense day. 12 hours we spent in active labor...at least 5 of those being focused, difficult, very painful, and just crazy!

Let me tell you, afterward I think the fear of God was scared into me a bit. I could not have looked over at my sister and said, "You should do this too!" I'll admit, part of me was thinking unmedicated birth is not necessarily worth it! I was just so in shock over the pain I had endured and how intense the whole experience was! However, I will say that the benefits for me have been entirely in hindsight. After that 12 hours was over, I felt better remarkably soon. I was able to get up and go to the bathroom by myself, shower by myself, and take care of myself and the baby. With MCM I literally could not get out of bed for hours because of the epidural. I had to be catheterized because I couldn't get up. I could barely walk to the bathroom and certainly needed assistance getting anywhere and doing anything. Maybe it was because I am so small and I got the epidural pretty late in my labor with her. I'm not sure. All I know is, I felt really weird and out of it emotionally and physically.

The day LCM was born, I felt remarkably well, and the next day after that, I felt downright energetic. Emotionally and physically, I feel so much more connected to everything that has happened. I've been able to play with MCM, care for LCM and have just been mostly like my normal self, except for the expected tiredness. LCM was also incredibly awake and alert after the birth, which made interacting with her that much more special.

My sister says the way I have been after this birth experience is night and day compared to the first go around, and she was there to witness the whole ordeal. Will I do it again? Probably. Because the most important thing is not those 12 hours, it's the weeks afterward. For me, this has been a really wonderful experience. When you have a busy almost-two-year-old, feeling good after coming home from the hospital is priceless.

I could literally blab on and on, but it's taken me days just to get this information together. More later. Lots to come, and of course more pictures.

Introducing...

2009-05-16T18:17:00.007-05:00

Lucy Camille
born
May 13, 2009
at 4:51 PM
6 lb, 6 oz
19 1/2 in

What a beauty!

Itty bitty fingers...

She looks like the spitting image of her mommy's newborn pictures and surprisingly not as much like her big sister as we thought!

MCM giving LCM her first hug and kiss.

Heading home from the hospital with our new precious girl!

Wow, I don't even know where to begin! We had quite an exciting week around here. We're home and settling in with our new little girl, and we feel richly blessed! I am thankful and amazed that I was able to have an unmedicated delivery and now have an utterly healthy and beautiful baby girl! May 13, 2009 goes down in history as probably the hardest day of my entire life, but now I am feeling great. Tired - of course - we're doing sell around here. Gotta run right now, but I'll let you know the rest of the story SOON!

Pictures from Purgatory

2009-05-11T07:02:00.004-05:00

These pictures are from a little post-nap Saturday afternoon visit to BT and KK's house. Please notice how much hair MCM has all the sudden!

She found a treasure - a rock.

This is a little thing I like to call "riding the bump." It makes such a nice seat for her.

She's just so dern pretty. And she was fascinated by watching BT work in the yard. She just learned to say his name and pretty much says it over and over and over.

That's not a basketball under my shirt. It's a real baby in there, folks.

We're still here. It's just hard to write anything when I'm spending every day expending energy in hopes that today is THE day. So far, no luck. It seems that this little girl is quite content in the womb. My doctor even went so far as to say, "I've got to be honest and say that it doesn't really look like you're going to have a baby any day now...maybe this is just a due date baby."

Of course, that's all normal for anyone else. I guess I just didn't realize how much having MCM early skewed my perception of what is normal. Somehow going all the way to 40 weeks seems almost intolerable. But, here I am at 39 weeks. No signs of baby, so I might be writing this all again next Monday, with my little bun tucked safely in the oven.

The good thing is, everything continues to look healthy and completely normal. She is still moving around like crazy, growing each week, and putting on the pounds. I know she's going to be a little bigger than MCM was when she was born, just hopefully not too big! As long as everything continues to look good, and I'm not going crazy from pregnancy clausterphobia, we won't consider inducing until I'm well past my due date. Oh, how I hope she decides to come on her own though!!

We are VERY excited about meeting our little girl, and the waiting stinks! However, we have been blessed to have some very sweet times with MCM over the past few weeks. It is absolutely amazing how much she has matured in the past month or so. She has so many new words, I can't keep up! This newfound ability to communicate seems to satisfy her on so many levels. It's neat to be able to communicate more clearly and effectively with her and to see how excited she is when she is understood. She has a silly sense of humor and is always trying to make us laugh. She is also very sensitive and quick to snuggle and love whenever given the opportunity. We've survived the past few weeks of me being VERY tired and pregnant by spending a lot of time snuggling and watching movies. There was a time I would've thought that wasn't an acceptable use of time, but it is a lifesaver. Even as I type, it's 7:30 AM...MCM woke up at 6:15, and she's snuggled in the bed next to me watching Jungle Book. If we weren't watching this, she would be asking me to chase her up and down the hallways, and in my current state, it's just a bit too early for that amount of action.

Somehow, the little power struggles we were having a few months ago seem to have sorted themselves out. Even her sleep has turned into a pretty easy ballgame, and that is AMAZING after all we've been through. The big girl bed is the best thing that's every happened to her, I think. She is so ready to go down for her afternoon nap, it's all I can do to delay it to 12 or 1 o'clock. She literally crawls into the bed, lays her head on the pillow and is practically out cold by the time I turn off the light. And at night we have such a nice bedtime routine...she loves nothing more than for Leland or I to snuggle in bed with her, read books and say prayers. It really is such a sweet time each night.

*Just to encourage parents of sleepless babies out there - the ones who are STILL not sleeping through the night at a year old or more, it will even out! It has for us. MCM was 13 months old when she started sleeping through the night, and she is no worse for the wear. We survived too, and you better believe I'm going to be reminding myself of this when I'm waking up with baby #2 every couple hours at night!

So, here we are, trying to enjoy each day that we have as parents to the sweetest little girl in the world, while trying to contain our anticipation and excitement about having another precious girl any day now. The waiting is literally killing us, but what can you do? My parents are in town this week to hold vigil with us and help with MCM. It will be a welcome distraction to have them here, and we really hope to have a baby before they must go home!

Last Week

2009-04-25T08:31:00.004-05:00

Last week was a bit of a roller coaster for us. I'm at the point in my pregnancy when I go in for weekly appointments, which are usually uneventful. Obviously, the previous week we had what we thought was our last ultrasound, and everything seemed great. This week I went in for my routine appointment and my doctor told me they saw something on the ultrasound that had gone undetected at the 20 week U/S.

Typically babies have 1 vein and 2 arteries in their umbilical cord, and our baby has one vein and 1 artery. It is a fairly uncommon abnormality, although it is the most common umbilical cord abnormality they see. It is often an indicator that other things may be wrong with the baby, from growth retardation, kidney issues, to chromosomal abnormalities. The doctor said he feels sure that if something were wrong we would've noticed another indicator by now, but of course it was quite upsetting to hear this information when all along I've been under the impression that everything about this pregnancy has been textbook, uneventful, and certainly nothing to worry about.

To make a long story short, our doctor was wonderful about all of this and suggested we come in for another ultrasound just to check her from head to toe for anything that may appear abnormal. The ultrasound lady was so kind, and it appears that from head to toe everything is as normal as can be. Her organs seem to be functioning. She is continuing to grow (estimated to be about 4 oz larger than the previous week's U/S). Amniotic fluid levels are normal, and as you can see from the pictures, she looks healthy and beautiful.

Our biggest concern was whether or not she is continuing to get the nourishment and oxygen she needs. Because she is still growing, we have every reason to believe she's continuing to thrive in the womb and has adjusted to having a single umbilical cord artery. The ultrasound lady said there is a chance that she had two arteries to begin with and for some reason one developed a clot and just withered away. This would mean that it was definitely not the result of any chromosomal abnormality, just some sort of fluke. We were concerned that maybe we should consider inducing if for no other reason than our own peace of mind, but at this point we've decided not to rush her. We're thanking God that perhaps He spared us from having to worry about something for the last 20 weeks that is completely out of our control, and of course, we're praying that when she arrives everything will be healthy and normal.

So that's that in a nutshell. We would appreciate your prayers that she continues to thrive in the womb and arrives in God's perfect timing. We can't wait to hold her and kiss her little face!

Who's who

2009-04-23T20:48:00.003-05:00

Two little girls...who look just alike. This is MCM circa April 2007 (due date July 2nd, birthday June 22)

This is baby girl #2 (yes, she has a name that is TBA upon arrival). Picture taken this morning (April 23rd, 2009 - due date May 17, 2009). Does she not look just like a more mature version of MCM's ultrasound pic? I mean, they could be twins!!

Another sweet pic. That's her arm by her face.

Cute little furrowed brow, cute little ear.

There's lots to tell about what's been going on this week, but tonight I'm too tired to go into it. We ended up having a 4th ultrasound this morning, part of which was 4D. It was so wonderful to see our sweet girl's face and all of her little parts! She let us see a little smile at one point, which was extra precious. We're hoping she will arrive any day now. If things work like they did with MCM, she could make an appearance as soon as next week. Who knows though? There is truly no way to tell. Anyway, I'm exhausted from enjoying the beautiful weather outside with MCM today. It was so fun to spend time with her, but I'm beat. Off to an early bedtime...

In Utero

2009-04-19T16:40:00.002-05:00

A lovely profile. Looks exactly like MCM's ultrasound pics.

Nostril shot and cute little lips. That's about all I can make out in this one.

And for good measure, another super cute little profile. There's a hand in there somewhere too if you can find it. 5 fingers too!

We had our last ultrasound last Monday. Normally, I don't think we would have had one at 35 weeks, but apparently the Doc was concerned that our munchkin might be growing larger than munchkin proportions. Turns out they estimated she was about 6 lbs, 4 oz and growing. MCM was 6 lbs 14 oz at birth, so that gives you a little perspective. This baby may indeed be larger, but hopefully not much more than that. The Doc said everything is healthy and normal. I was about half a centimeter dilated, and that's nothing to write home about at this point. So...we wait.

Today I'm 36 weeks pregnant, and I would be thrilled to go into labor at any moment. I pretty much think about it constantly, although I am trying hard (especially at night) to stop dwelling quite so much. MCM came at 38 weeks, but I'm fully aware this is a different ballgame and I shouldn't get my hopes up too high. I'm relieved that we're out of the danger zone for a too-early birth. This week I recalled all the wonderful ways God orchestrated MCM's birth - perfect timing - allowing everything that needed to take place beforehand to take place and allowing everyone we wanted to be there to be able to be there, etc. I know he will do the same this time. Still, waiting is a killer!

We also had a pretty tough week with MCM. She's been so out of sorts, and it was beginning to sending me into a panic about how she's going to handle a new baby sister, but it turns out she's just been teething 2 new molars. Things have been on the up and up since Thursday, and I'm hoping we can remain on an even keel until baby sister arrives. Please remember us in your prayers as we navigate the next few weeks!

Easter 2009

2009-04-16T15:06:00.002-05:00

Her first easter basket.

Very exciting!

Easter egg hunt at church.

Hugging her new bunny.

Such a pretty dress! (no, I had no hand in making it!)

We had a lovely Easter/daddy's birthday this past Sunday. Unfortunately we didn't take many pictures! No family shots for us this year. MCM has been waking up with the sun, so she is exhausted by the time church begins. By the time it's over, she is stumbling around, rubbing her eyes, and truly, in rare form. So, we promptly came home and put her down for a nap. We hope to have a photo reenactment before baby #2 comes! Unfortunately for Leland, it wasn't much of a birthday celebration (although we did have a cake from Olexa's - yum!!! I think I've eaten half of it.).

We spent most of the weekend taking care of things for the baby's room. I had so many contractions over the weekend, that I had all but convinced myself we were going to have an Easter baby! Saturday night they started coming on very strong and kept on for a few hours before dissipating after I decided to get in bed and try to relax. All that to say, no baby yet! Yes, there are still 4 weeks to go, but I'm hoping she'll decide to make an appearance any day now.

Gotta go fix MCM a snack. More later!

The Truth

2009-04-09T13:49:00.003-05:00

I guess I was sure feeling chipper when I wrote that last post. This week...not so much.

My belly (and by that I mean the baby) has grown exponentially in the past week or so. My walk is most definitely a waddle. Sleep? That could best be described as touch and go...or more accurately: get up to pee, waddle back to bed, struggle to get situated with pillow between the legs, left side, etc. only to lie there for at least an hour having braxton hicks and wondering if/when this will turn into the real thing. I know I have about 6 weeks until this baby is fully cooked, but the amount of contractions I've had during the past month or so is astounding and a little unsettling.

Last weekend I found myself on edge and feeling the uncontrollable urge to get my entire life in order ASAP. I guess that's what you call nesting? So, the baby's room is semi-arranged. Nothing hanging on the wall in the way of actual decor, but it's cute. I sorted through bag after bag of MCM's tiny baby clothes, and it took a good four loads of laundry to get everything washed and ready. Now a large pile of tiny dresses covers the floor in her room waiting to be ironed. Really, why must they even manufacture a baby item that requires ironing?

It's not just baby things though...what is it about the third trimester that makes me wanted my entire life sorted out? I mean, there are the shallow things like the fact that we still haven't hung pictures on our walls 9 months after moving here, and there is still SO much decorating that needs to be done. (the naked windows in our den are positively driving me insane right now! why couldn't I take the time to order curtains when I still had the time??) Then there are the deeper things...my relationships to be specific. If anything gets off kilter - anything at all - it infuriates me. Can life not run smoothly and cater to my every need just for the next few weeks? (and perhaps for the following 3 months as well?) Usually I am completely fine with things not being about me, but right now...at this juncture...can everything just center around the fact that a new person is about to join our family (kind-of a big deal) and there's only one person who can get said person out?

You could say there's a certain loneliness about this time that no one can really breach. It stems from the fact that I have a task before me that is mine and mine alone. Even the next few weeks are mine to get through - holding a full-grown and still growing baby in my belly, feeling her jab and kick and punch and hiccup, knowing her every move, being awake when she's awake - even if it's at 3:00 AM. It's all mine. And then there are the things that follow her birth. Sure, Leland will be there to help me, but I know you other mothers know the things a mother thinks and feels...the responsibility a mother bears with a new baby. It's just a lot. So very, very, much...

Anyway, so that's a snap-shot of where I am. I'm ready to have this baby. I just wish I could hire a cleaning crew, a personal chef, decorator, and professional friend first. And it would be nice to spend the next few weeks reclining on a beach somewhere rather than waking with the sun, cooking, cleaning, trying to meet the needs of a complicated yet wonderful toddler and a complicated yet wonderful husband while also occasionally taking time to think about this new little girl and, maybe trying to take the time to at least shower, which I guess qualifies as "me-time" (as long as MCM isn't in the shower with me). Really, it will be okay.

Counting Down

2009-03-31T13:40:00.004-05:00

Saying "cheese" with Daddy's sunglasses

Won't be a family of three for long!

Getting a kiss from her main squeeze.

Sharing.

Aaand, her other main squeeze.

We're getting close...so very close to the arrival of baby #2. I am 33 weeks along, and believe me, I wish I were at 40 weeks! We are so ready to meet this new little girl, and I am feeling as ready as I'll ever be to tackle life with two. Right now I'm just watching my belly grow and trying to prepare mentally and physically for giving birth. I'm grateful that this pregnancy has been uneventful - much like my pregnancy with MCM. Everything has been basically normal except for a great deal of tiredness due to an energetic little girl in our midst ;). Generally speaking, I've had a MUCH lower sense of anxiety this go around, which is nice. With my first pregnancy, I remember worrying quite a bit about becoming a parent, giving birth, and all the unknowns about how life was going to change. There were a lot of sleepless nights, especially toward the end of my pregnancy. It's nice that most of those thoughts are irrelevant this time, except that life is indeed about to change.

It's hard to imagine being busier, having less time to get things done or being more tired than I am now, but I know with every new baby there is a little less "me" time available. I know what I'm about to face is another big challenge to my selfishness, lots of which has been chipped away in the past two years, but let's face it, mountains and mountains of selfishness remain. I'm not Mother Theresa, here! One welcome surprise for me in this parenting journey is that it's actually been a relief to care for others and think a little bit less about myself. I tend to be a person with an inward focus and used to spend lots of time contemplating things (who knows what, just things!), but with little ones to care for I simply have less time to sit and think about me, what do I want, what makes me happy, etc. I have also found that caring for my husband and children actually does make me happy. Crazy, huh?

So, I'm trying to mentally take myself back to that place where you must surrender your wants/needs to a helpless infant who is entirely dependent on you. It's hard...oh, it is so very hard, but it's also very good for the soul. I know my soul could use a little more of that, so I'm thankful for what is ahead.

For the next 7-8 weeks I just hope to enjoy every moment with MCM. She is such a joy to be around - so full of life and so full of love. She is her own little person in every way, and I love getting to know her. It's a little sad to know that the dynamics of our relationship are about to change, but I know that it's a good thing and there will be plenty of love to go around. So, for now, we just wait...

Bathing Beauty

2009-03-10T13:51:00.006-05:00

Wait for it...

Ta Da!! Think somebody loves her bathing ensemble? MCM is positively obsessed with Winnie the Pooh right now, so she was extra happy when I found a cute bathing suit with none other than the Pooh himself embroidered upon it.

Feeling pretty cute...
I let her run around the house like this all morning, checking herself out in the mirror occasionally, while I gathered our things up for the zoo/sprinkler park.

She loves the animals, but she REALLY loves the sprinklers!!

It's so cute, I can't stand it!

Pure joy!

We are so spoiled by the beautiful weather! I cannot tell you how much more normal/happy/content I feel when the weather is warm and we're able to enjoy it outside. You can bet we'll be making many more trips to the zoo with baby sister in tow! More later, just wanted to share the fun pictures.

Also, day 2 of the big girl bed was just as smooth as day 1. So far, SO good. If only we could get rid of these colds!!

Sleep Success!

2009-03-09T13:12:00.004-05:00

MCM is sleeping in her big girl bed!

This weekend we finished painting MCM's bedroom (ballerina pink). We actually started painting it last weekend but ended up being too busy to finish the second coat. The week was long and hectic as well, so she spent all of last week sleeping in her crib in the baby's room - which she thought was a really big treat! Yesterday Leland moved all of her things into her freshly painted room, including her big girl bed, and she got to sleep in it for the first time!

We were nervous about how it would go, but she LOVED it and seemed nothing but pleased to be back in her old space as a very big girl. The bed is actually a twin bed that was passed down to us from Leland's grandmother. I think he used to sleep in it at her house when he was little. Anyway, we took the box spring out and installed a bar on the side for safety, and so far it is working great. It took MCM a little longer than usual to go down for her nap yesterday, but she slept soundly. Then last night she went down without a fuss and slept all night long in her big bed! We are SO proud of her!

This is especially noteworthy considering she and I came down with nasty colds this weekend, and she's not feeling well at all. I think she has been completely exhausted from playing outside in the beautiful weather we've been having, and that means good sleep for all!

So, current status on the big girl bed transition is that so far it's been a breeze. I fully expect there to be trying moments at some point, but for now, hooray! It's been MUCH easier than expected.

Now I'm tempted to switch our focus to potty training...I'm not 100% sure she's ready, but she certainly seems interested in the potty and all things pertaining thereto. (Need I mention that poo-poo is one of her favorite words?) Anyway, I'm quite ready to plunge in if she is. I haven't read a bunch of stuff about it or anything (other than lots of your blogs on the subject!). I tend to think when they're ready, they'll just be ready...right? I know about rewarding with M&M's and I've heard it's best to forgo the pull-ups and go straight to undies. One question though, won't she still wear diapers at night for a while? Her morning diapers are typically filled with about 3 lbs of pee. Is she just supposed to learn to hold it all night? If so, maybe we'll postpone potty training for a long, long while, because I don't see that happening...

Thoughts?

Sweet Friends

2009-03-06T13:32:00.003-06:00

Amber and Audrey came to visit us! It was so fun to meet sweet Audrey. She really is a precious baby - beautiful and so happy and talkative! Charlotte loved having her around and kept asking for her days after they left. "Baby? Baby?" I actually think it was a nice precursor to having our new baby in the house and a good reminder for me of what life is like with an infant!

Of course we didn't take pictures until right before we sent them home on a plane to Dallas. I think this picture is when they were most content...

Though not terribly interested in a photoshoot.

We're all trying to get MCM to hug the baby.

Zoning out.

Now we're trying to catch her kissing the baby. Audrey does look extra sweet here...

Then things start breaking down a bit...

Please look closely at their faces and try to imagine the noise level rising. I guess they didn't want their Mommies in the picture!

At least we can still laugh about it.

Aaaand, we're done.

Thanks for coming all the way to visit! Traveling with a baby is no easy feat, but I'm glad we had all the necessary gear for you two! I can't believe we've gone from two friends, to four, and soon to be five! Give us a few years and our visits will truly be girl's retreats! Love you guys!

Tidbits

2009-03-03T10:09:00.005-06:00

So, The Bachelor finale...lame, lame, lame. Honestly, I probably won't be able to watch it after this. I hate having my intelligence insulted that obviously. The fact that it was rigged and scripted was pretty apparent. I can't believe I stopped DVR'ing House for this. At least I still have Gossip Girl to qualify as a guilty pleasure...

So, yesterday MCM got her leg lodged in between the rails of her crib, and I honestly didn't know if I was going to be able to get it out! We had a crazy day. It started with a much too early wake-up from the wee one at 5:15 AM. She simply wouldn't go back to sleep, so that's when my day started too. By about 8:00 AM she was completely worn out. I tried putting her down for a nap twice in the morning to no avail. By the time it reached her real afternoon nap time, she was limp as a noodle, falling all over the place and VERY cranky. I did everything I could to help her wind down but finally left her whimpering in her crib and hoped that she would fuss herself to sleep. Not so. The crying merely escalated and after a while became screams. I ran back to check on her only to discover that she was screaming in terror because her leg was stuck in the oddest position through the crib rail. I guess she tried to climb out, got her leg through up to her thigh and then couldn't pull back out over her knee. Poor child! I wiggled her around until we freed the poor little leg, rubbed red from all the work she'd been doing. After that she was tuckered out. Let's just say, that was one episode in the span of a very long day.

(And she woke up at 5:30 AM again this morning. Daylight savings time could not come any sooner!)

Speaking of, daylight savings time begins this Sunday! It's the best news I've heard in weeks, and I cannot WAIT to have extra sunshine in the afternoons. Sure, I'm enormously pregnant but the possibility of getting out for a walk during what are usually the most dreaded hours of my day, sounds simply divine.

I am 29 weeks pregnant. I look as if I could give birth any day, but I know this mountain on my abdomen is only going to get bigger before baby comes. I've entered the third trimester insomnia phase...at night I just roll back and forth like a beached whale. Every time I change positions it means there's a new sense of pressure on my bladder, which means I must get up to pee. My poor husband. Neither of us are great sleepers, but between my rolling/peeing, and his frequent night waking to make sure there are no intruders in the house, we are quite the sleepy pair. His willingness to trade off waking up with MCM in the morning is absolutely my saving grace though. Last night I got practically no sleep, but he woke up with her this morning and let me stay in bed until 7:30 AM. That's romance, people! Or at least it is when you are parents of tots.

And, lastly, new baby sister still doesn't have a name. We simply cannot seem to make a decision. There are two contenders right now, but I honestly have no idea what we will choose. We might throw them both out and come up with something new...who knows. According to that floating baby, there are only 75 days left...we shall see!

Happy Tuesday, folks!

Snow Day!

2009-03-02T08:30:00.006-06:00

I can't believe we actually got snow. Honestly, if I hadn't heard from my parents that Memphis was a winter wonderland, I wouldn't have even known snow was a possibility. We rarely watch the local news, and our TV was on cartoons or soccer all weekend. Plus, the temperature was a lukewarm 50 degrees! What a pleasant surprise it was to wake up to snow showers on a Sunday morning!

KK and BT came over to watch MCM enjoy the snow. We quickly discovered our lack of winter-weather gear. The hat MCM has on is one of the little hospital beanies she was given as a newborn - ha!

A southern blizzard - snow covers houses, grass, trees but never sidewalks or roads. Go figure.

Obligatory street shot.

Anow?? (That's how she says it - always like a question - similar to "no" but with a much more pleasant inflection.) About to take a bite...

Not a huge fan of the taste.

But always willing to share!

With Mom and Dad - still trying to catch some flakes in her mouth.

With KK and BT

Walking through the trail by the house. We were freezing! And let me tell you, trying to fit an XS Northface jacket over a large pregnant belly DOESN'T work! Also hope you can still see Leland through the trees - his camo hides him pretty well.

Hiking with Daddy.

We had fun! (Notice she has socks on her hands for mittens. I mean, seriously, I don't even have gloves for the child! The temperature rarely dips below 40 degrees in Birmingham - ever!)

I Can't Help it...I Heart You

2009-02-25T14:13:00.004-06:00

This is my little valentine. Sure, it's late, but aren't her pj's cute?

Aaand her pants are falling down...

Something cracked her up. I am guessing it's the sight of Pluto on Mickey Mouse Club House. "Dog-guh!"

What??

Maybe complaining is a magic elixur that rids you of negative feelings so you're freed up to look at things with a new perspective or even a small bit of humor? I dunno, but I will say that I feel like this week has produced a few victories - however small - that make me feel like MCM is learning.

Leland has been out of town since Sunday - not fun. It's amazing how helpful it is to know that your partner will be home at the end of the day! Losing that reprieve has made things a little busier around here. But, I will say that it feels as if the extra time MCM and I have spent together has allowed me to get through to her in ways that it felt like I couldn't recently. It takes considerably more energy and creativity, but I am seeing ways to get through her negative moments and the constant barrage of "No!" I don't want life to be a constant battle, and it seems that the more I attack the saying no, the more likely she is to keep on keeping on. Somehow, I have to calmly turn things around.........sometimes it calls for more than that..........I see that it takes an incredible amount of time, attention and being in the moment, not to mention PATIENCE...and did I mention energy? There is no time for lazy parenting around here.

One thrilling aspect of this week is that MCM has actually eaten meat and vegetables every day. This is quite an accomplishment for a fruitarian! Today she actually asked for chicken, which is unheard of. When she wanted to push it aside in favor of a bowl full of rasberries, I successfully coaxed her to eat more chicken by simply giving her the option to either eat one more bite of chicken and then the rasberries or to go ahead and be all done. After going back and forth for about 10 minutes, she picked up a piece of chicken and started eating. I know it sounds ridiculous, but unless you have a truly picky eater, you just cannot understand how this thrilled my heart! I've tried everything from force-feeding, to time-outs, to becoming a short order cook simply to ensure my child is getting nourishment. So far, reason hasn't budged her an inch, but maybe we're turning a corner?

This is definitely an intense time of parenting for us. Maybe life will continue to be like this for a long time. If so, that's just life. Each child is unique, and I have made it a goal from the beginning (so has Leland) to simply accept each child we are given for who they are. We want to teach them, but we don't want to make them into robots or carbon copies of ourselves. We ask God to show us who these children are uniquely designed to be, and we hope and pray that we can help shape them into the best "them" they can be. This is messy work. Relationships are not cut and dry. They are not easy. They require give and take. Parenting in particular is interesting business as you seek to balance creating/maintaining relationship with your child with establishing yourself as an authority figure in their life. Often, it feels like the two are at war with one another, but I suspect it's more a case of creating harmony and not straying too far in one direction or another. (Although, I also suspect there are times when one must take precedence over the other.)

Ah, I don't know. I am mostly just typing aimlessly, because I am afforded the time while MCM naps and I fail to do housework. You can't do it all, right? At least not every day...

Princess Baby

2009-02-24T14:25:00.003-06:00

How quickly we go from this...

Or this...

To this.
(sound effect would be "No, Ma! No, Ma! No!)

Let's be honest here. This whole toddler thing is tough. I know I said the same thing about the baby stage, but I guess tough babies will be tough toddlers.

MCM is 20 months old. Pretty dern close to being 2...so I guess the "terrible twos" have hit our house a little early. I know I'm supposed to take the positive route and think of this time as "terrific twos" or something, but being 28 weeks pregnant, huge, and operating in a semi-constant state of exhaustion is preventing me from working as hard as I should on an maintaining an optimistic outlook. Don't get me wrong - we love our girl as much as ever. She is fun, hilarious, energetic, creative, dramatic, sweet and very loving. She is also strong-willed, spirited, stubborn, loud, picky, and generally a spit-fire from the moment she wakes up until the moment she goes to bed at night.

Around Christmas (18 months), she learned the word "no." Before that time, I started to pride myself on the fact that she never used that word. (pride goeth...) I tried hard to only use it when necessary. In general, there weren't many reasons to use it, not many battles being waged, and of course, I was only a little bit pregnant. Then, overnight, "no" became the single most-heard word around our house. Some days it seems like it's the first word I hear (No! I don't want my diaper changed even though I've been in it all night and it's starting to leak through my pj's...) and it just continues in relation to every good or bad thing all day long. "Are you hungry?" "NO." "Do you want a ba-ba?" "Nope." "Do you want to go to the park?" "No, ma! No!" It's not always a response to a question either. It is simply the go-to response for everything that happens all day, and let me tell you it. is. annoying.

And, let's talk tantrums. I used to be the mom judging the mother you see at the store/mall/park/restaurant whose child freaked out, defied her, or seemed otherwise uncontrollable in a social setting. Sometimes I felt sympathetic - certainly to mom's of crying and/or fussy babies. But, to older children, I often assumed it was the mother's fault for not being hands-on enough or something. Now, I AM that mother. The mall. The bookstore. The park. Chickfila. I am the mom who's kid is breaking down, yelling, sitting/laying on the floor instead of leaving when I'm trying to drag them out the door. Honestly, it's shocking to me. I think, "Who is this kid, and why doesn't she seem to understand the simple directions I give her or the simple things I ask her to do???" With babies, they have no choice other than to go where you go, when you go, and to basically do everything you make them do. But, what do you do when your child whom you love more than life doesn't want to do a single thing you need them to do? Oy vey!!!!!

Maybe this is just life with a strong-willed child. I cannot tell you how exhausting these days are. It's a whole lot less cute to write about than, "cuddly baby X rolled over for the first time today!" But these are the days we're in. I mean, if I only write about the fun/cute moments, these blogs are going to continue to be few and far between.

So, here's one battle I feel like I won today. We go to Chickfila. Ugh, the playground. MCM sees it the second we walk in. She has this really dramatic way of oooing and ahhing over things she gets excited about, so she starts loudly squealing with delight and saying, "Aaaaaah! Ohhhhhh!" over and over while we're getting food. I knew she was hungry, because she was asking for bock-bock in the car and it had been a while since she'd eaten. But, of course now she doesn't want to eat, because of the play ground, and everything quickly turns into a lot of whining and crying about not wanting to eat and wanting to go play. She was crying. She was loud. People were staring - in particular, an old man who could not keep his eyes off of us, and who at one point was the recipient of a very loud, "What the heck do you think you're looking at?!?" from me. I decided I needed to stand my ground and get a little food in the child, because I knew how hungry she was - hungry, already tired, and fussy = a triple threat indeed! So, I endured the fussing. I gave stern warnings. I kept reasserting my position - a couple bites of bock-bock and then she could play. It didn't seem like it was going to work, and I was almost ready to just get up and leave.......then, she quickly starts stuffing her mouth with bites of chicken and chewing like a mad woman so she could get playing. I praised her with wild abandon for her miraculous obedience, and then promptly let her go play. Progress??? Maybe. It is slower than I would prefer, but that one, tiny moment made me feel like maybe I'm not a complete failure of a mother, and maybe, just maybe, my kid will learn how to behave after all.

Hooray.

Surviving Winter

2009-02-03T12:37:00.004-06:00

"Mom, I'm bored!" No, actually, this is just a picture of what our day has been like so far...

It's that time of year...smarter animals are hibernating until spring, but unfortunately the stay-at-home moms must carry on. We have kids to entertain and minds that need some amount of stimulation lest we turn into zombies from lack of sunlight or something. We have to get out!

Now I will admit that so far we've been blessed with a pretty mild winter here in Alabama. It's hard to complain when the weather seems to get above 60 degrees every other week. But, as soon as it's below 50, it seems like everyone in our house starts getting the sniffly nose (and I usually start shivering at that point - I am a warm weather girl!). For MCM the sniffly nose means sleepless nights. So, I'm trying hard to resist the urge to let her play outside in the lowering temperatures.

I don't know about the rest of you, but we're often stretching for creative activities at this point. Here are a few things we do, and let me say, some of them are slightly laughable.

1. My current favorite escape is The Kids Gym. (Well, actually it's MCM's favorite escape. There's not much in it for me besides watching her enjoyment and hoping that she's exhausting herself enough to take a major nap in the afternoon.) So, on Thursdays we take a little class there, but on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays we'll sometimes go there just to play. It's essentially an indoor playground...why aren't there more of those anyway?

2. At least once a week, we go to Barnes and Noble or Books-A-Million to play with the "choo-choos." MCM is very into trains right now and recently mastered the word choo-choo when we were in Memphis. Now she always wants to see choo-choos and will generally chatter about them for no reason. So, I just take it as a sign that she'd like to go play with Thomas the Train at the bookstore, and off we go. Ideally, this buys me a few minutes of sitting quietly reading a book/magazine while she is happy with her choo-choos. Good times.

3. Going out to lunch. This is a staple year around but, it becomes even more essential when the weather is bad. With so many people sick or stuck at home with sick kids, I've taken to having girls lunches alone with MCM and have found that it is very enjoyable! She loves to eat out - so do I. She loves to people watch - so do I. We make a pretty good team actually. Considering we only have a few months left as a duo, it's definitely time worth cherishing. So, we might do this once a week as well - preferably at a place that doesn't come with a playground. She's not really big enough to play on them alone, which means that I, an expanding pregnant woman, must climb in them and slide down slides with her, and that is not a pretty sight.

4. Going to the grocery store. I know, not a very fun activity. There are probably a few of you who dread it, and I've been there too. At this age MCM is a big fan of riding in the cart, so the grocery is fun for her. I try to go every Monday. I make sure I am armed with snacks and a sippy cup and maybe a paci for emergencies. If I'm feeling the need to guarantee a smooth trip, we head immediately for the bakery (as we are told by so many not to do) and get a treat for MCM. Going by the baby section first and getting crackers or something seems to also do the trick. It's all about mixing the things that must be done with some fun things, like stopping to see the balloons in the floral section or making sure we spend a few minutes watching the lobsters swim in their tank. It's the simple things, people!

5. Inevitably there are days when we must stay home. The newest form of entertainment around the house is the shower. I don't know why I didn't think of it before. I guess it's because, MCM used to be mildly afraid of the shower. Then, last week, as she pressed her face against the shower door and fussed the whole time I was in the shower, it occurred to me that maybe she would like to get in. So, I put her in there, and she thought it was the most fun thing ever. She thinks she's playing in a sprinkler or something. Genius! For the past 2 weeks, at least once a day, I just put her in there and let her play. She would literally stay until she shriveled up like a prune.

6. Up until now I've resisted showing videos or too much television in general to MCM. We don't own any Baby Einstein videos, and we only have a few cartoons that she likes to watch in the morning. We usually even miss Sesame Street, because we're heading out of the house to go somewhere when it comes on. But, for Christmas MCM got quite a few Disney movies, and they're so dern cute and retro and remind me of my childhood so much, that we've started watching them...a lot. MCM will generally only pay attention here and there. But, this pregnant Mama is grateful for any amount of resting/couch time I get to have during the day, and if Disney lets me have it, then hooray!

Aaaaand, the rest of our days MCM and I are playing. She is such a social girl. She is rarely entertained by things. She's just a people person and needs a playmate. That is why I'm growing one in my belly right now! Too bad it will be over a year before they really have any fun playing together...I'm counting down the days!

19 Months of MCM

2009-01-29T14:46:00.004-06:00

This stroller is her absolute favorite toy right now. It has provided endless amounts of entertainment and opportunities for me to accomplish things around the house. AND it was only $8 bucks. Go get one NOW!

She made this face when I asked her what a really happy face looks like.

Nap head. (not nappy head - nap head)

So, MCM is officially 19 months old. I've failed pretty miserably at keeping up with monthly posts about what she's up to, so this will be a big game of catch-up. First of all, I can't even believe how much she's changed since she turned a year old. I guess I was still thinking in terms of 1-year-olds versus 2-year-olds and not really understanding all that transpires in that second year. It's a lot! At 1 year she wasn't even really walking around unassisted. Now she grabs my hand and runs me everywhere or pushes her little stuffed animals around in her stroller at full speed.

She also talks up a storm. Most of her words sound dangerously alike. (ba-ba = bottle, boo-ba = blue berry, beh-ba - belly button, buh-buh = bubbles. See what I mean?) It's amazing how many times a day I misunderstand her, but I'm catching on. It's so fun getting to understand a little more about how she thinks and what she thinks about.

She LOVES her routine, and will get quite upset if I don't do things just so. Here's an example: in the morning she wakes up first - believe me, it's usually early enough that she beats Leland's alarm clock. She usually wakes up crying. I wish that wasn't the case. Usually Leland gets up with her first, since he doesn't see her during the day. He enters the room, and the first thing out of her mouth is "ba-ba?" Then, she repeats that about 10 times until she receives said ba-ba. No matter how dirty her diaper is or what state of undress we might find her in or what have you, the ba-ba must be given immediately. Then the diaper is changed. Then she says, "up! up! up-boh!" I'm usually scrambling around whipping up her breakfast and mine and making coffee. She comes to the kitchen and tells me, "up! up! up-boh!" Then we go upstairs to the playroom to have breakfast/watch cartoons/play. We do this for maybe 2 hours, and then it's time to go downstairs to get ready for the day. She usually let's me know this by saying "bye-bye" to her stuffed dogs and telling me it's time to go "up-boh" again. I could go on and on. Basically, the kid could run the place if she wanted to. She runs a tight ship.

At 19 months, she can completely feed herself, which is great. She has about 16 teeth, so that helps too. Her current food obsession is blueberries and she still loves fruit more than all other food groups. She rarely eats meat. I think the stars have to align perfectly for her to eat it, and that happens about once or twice a week. I try not to worry about this, since her second favorite thing is any dairy product, and that has to count for protein somehow.

One thing I think is super fun at this age is how much she understands who all the people in her life are. Sometimes she'll just call roll of all the people she knows: Mama? Dada? KK? Pop? etc. She really loves her family, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and it's sweet to see how excited she is to spend time with all of them.

She is quite the daddy's girl. She's very close to both of us, but no one makes her laugh like daddy!

She is very brave and not scared of much. This makes me happy, because I was afraid of everything as a child. She's also not shy. She loves being around people, especially other kids.

She's still completely obsessed with dogs. Kelly and I have decided she's going to be a veterinarian. She can study at Auburn so she won't be far from home. (sorry Alabama fans)

At 19 months she sleeps through the night most of the time (although the last month has been touch and go in this department). In general, she still holds the record for being able to fight sleep better than any kid I've ever met. No matter how exhausted she is, she is rarely one to just fall asleep. In fact, the more tired she gets, the more hyper she gets. It's amazing!

She loves to read books. Her current favorite is Fancy Nancy and the Posh Puppy. She likes the page where the little dog gets sick and says, "gak!" She makes me do it over and over again, and she says it too. Adorable.

Ok, I'm cutting myself off there. I could go on and on, and maybe I'll add to this list later. Basically, I would just say, I love the relationship I have with MCM as she gets older. She is a wonderful little person, and we can't imagine our lives without her. I know she is going to be the world's best big sister!

Advice, please!

2009-01-21T09:46:00.002-06:00

Ok, I need some advice.

Last night I found myself awake for most of the night mulling over the things I need accomplish over the next few months. The top of the list is figuring out a solution for the kids' rooms. MCM will be barely 23 months when little sister arrives. Our current plan is to transition her into a big girl bed and give little sister the crib. However, we continue to have various forms of sleep issues with MCM...sometimes she sleeps through the night, sometimes she doesn't. Sometimes she takes naps, sometimes she doesn't. There is no rhyme or reason to it, and I don't expect people with good sleepers to understand. (believe me, we've tried EVERYTHING) BUT, I know there are a few of you out there who know a little bit about the trials and tribulations of handling babies/toddlers who don't sleep well, and I really need your advice. Am I setting myself up for pain and misery by attempting the big bed so early?

Last night I kept picturing her standing up in her crib screaming instead of sleeping...then I pictured her crawling out of her bed and playing with toys instead of sleeping...or worse yet, beating on the door and yelling "Mama" instead of sleeping. Do I really want to face that when I will likely be nursing a sleepless newborn in the next room?

If you have been successful in making this transition with a child below the age of 2, please, send advice.

In my ideal world MCM would be potty trained, in a big girl bed, finished with the paci and baba, and heck, reciting her ABC's by the time little sister comes, but for goodness sake, I don't want to be miserable for the next 3 months! I just want some ideas/tips/tricks/advice. Thanks!!

A Masterpiece of Hair

2009-01-14T14:56:00.004-06:00

Only a night of restful sleep could've produced a look this special.

An expression that I think best conveys the message of the hair.

The glory of the profile.

Hair in motion.

The Great Escape

2009-01-09T14:09:00.004-06:00

Our little stowaway...or at least, she tried. Sweet girl.

Watch out! There's a lot of pictures in this post. But, not having had a vacation with my husband in a LONG time, I'm still understandably excited about it. So, here goes.

Leland took me to Gorham's Bluff, which is a wonderful little hidden treasure right here in Alabama. It's a 5-star resort in the style of Seaside that happens to sit only about 2 hours away. It has gorgeous views and incredible food, and basically, we loved every second of being there!

This is the view from our room.

I made the beeb pose on the balcony. Our balcony was sweeet.

Ok, I made him pose by the fireplace in our room too. We had the best time sitting and reading and listening to music in front of it. We're a little obsessed with the idea of the bedroom fireplace now. So cozy!

I posed myself in this one. This was my spot for most of the time. And I read The Other Bolyen Girl in front of the stone fireplace - perfect location!

Baby #2 came too. I swear, the bump is SO much bigger than it looks.

Trying really hard to take a picture of ourselves by ourselves.

We went for a walk while the sun was setting. So pretty...

This is the lodge where we stayed.

There was a bookshelf in our room filled with books, and on it sat the 1995-96 Fort Payne High School yearbook. Name that student!!! We laughed so hard.

Anyway, so there you have it. We ate 4-course meals 3 times a day, spent such great time together relaxing, reading, talking. There are no televisions in the rooms at the lodge, which I didn't mind at all. Frankly, just staring at the wall and not having anyone to take care of was the best thing that's happened to me in a long time! Leland's mom stayed with MCM, and took wonderful care of her. MCM handled our separation so well. I think Leland and I missed her more than she missed us! So, we're planning our next trip...maybe for Leland's birthday in April?

Tick Tock...

2008-12-31T10:07:00.004-06:00

Kelly and I turned 29 on the 29th. You only get that once, right? Now, some of you know how I feel about birthdays...they tend to be a bummer, especially when you're born this close to Christmas, and you share your birthday with a twin. (which isn't so bad really) But, the Beeb did all he could to make sure I had a great birthday. Our husbands took us to lunch at Olexa's where we thoroughly enjoyed the ultimate grilled cheese sandwiches and, of course, white buttercream cake with warm chocolate ganache drizzled over it. It was probably the best cake I've ever eaten.

MCM enjoyed her kid version of grilled cheese. It's one of the few things she'll eat besides fruit, yogurt, and crackers/bread. She LOVES it.

Leland was able to come to lunch, even though he had to work on Monday. MCM was a little ready to get out of her high chair, or maybe she was leaning in to give Daddy a hug. She is obsessed with Dada right now!

What would a birthday be without more cake? Yes, then we were given an entire cake from Olexa's which we've been eating on daily since Monday. YUM.

Kel and BT babysat on our birthday (so sweet) so that Leland and I could have an evening together. (Sol Y Luna - seriously, I've had so much great food this week, I should just stop eating!) Then we had cake and Leland let me watch Discovery Health, the shocking story of the tree man. Have you seen it? It's freaky.

The best part of the birthday is still to come though. Leland planned a weekend away for us! Well, sort of a weekend. Thursday - Saturday. It's our first time spending the night away from Charlotte in 18 months, and it's also our first night away together since I was pregnant with her. It is much needed, and we're so excited! Please say a prayer that she'll do great and not miss us too much. Frankly, I'm not worried at all considering when we leave these days she barely looks up, just says, "Byyye!" - with quite a southern accent, mind you. Anyway, I'm sure I'll miss her like crazy and worry like crazy a little too. I've forgotten what it's like to wake up and not have a child to take care of. What's that like?? Will I be overwhelmed with a sense of uselessness? Will I even remember how to relax? I'm sure it's like riding a bike...

Tonight we're having a laid back new year's eve at our house with friends - games and Mexican food. Tomorrow Ellie will come to keep MCM for the next few days, and we head out! I am thrilled about the new year, knowing we have many blessings in store with our baby girl on the way. Happy New Year to all!

Christmas 2008

2008-12-28T12:54:00.006-06:00

This is the face MCM makes when asked to smile for the camera. Pretty cute...

This is her refusing to smile for the camera. Already worn out at church Christmas Eve.

The loot! In our defense, there were a lot of people involved in this Christmas. This was right before MCM woke up.

Not sure what to think...

Eating some grapes from her new kitchen.

With Daddy, aka, "Santa." MCM is much more interested in whatever she's eating.

Lots of cooks in the kitchen Christmas night. Unfortunately, I failed to take a picture of our feast.

MCM having more fun with the stuff presents are wrapped in that the actually presents themselves.

Duncan wants to have fun too. He usually thinks she has food in her hands.

With Ellie and Caitlin just before they headed back to Nashville.

What a great Christmas! I wouldn't say MCM totally understood what was going on this year, but she definitely enjoyed having lots of attention and fun. As for Santa, gifts, etc...it was way obvious she didn't get that part. She just wanted to play with her family and eat yummy foods. Let's see, she learned about Christmas cookies, all kinds of sweet, yummy breads, and, by far her favorite, chips and dip. Bless her. She knows what's good. Anyway, I could write out lots of details, but I'll give you the quick breakdown. My family and Leland's mom and sister came to spend Christmas in Bham with us. (That's lots of folks + 3 dogs!) Kelly and I did all the cooking and hosting, and we are very proud to say that it all turned out great and so much fun. Living down the street from each other is an excellent arrangement for holidays! I hope we'll get to do it again next year!

Twas the week before Christmas...

2008-12-18T12:35:00.006-06:00

It's 12:30 PM, and I'm still in my PJ's. This hasn't happened in a long time. But, MCM has been on the rampage this week - that's my excuse - and it's one of many. (Let's not forget that I'm pregnant, people!!)

It started Sunday when she woke up at 4:00 AM with a fever of 102. We thought she was teething, but that seemed high for a teething fever. So, I kept an eye on her, kept her home from church and started the usual Tylenol/Children's Motrin cycle. She continued to have a fever until Monday, but there were still no other symptoms. Obvious tooth/gum discomfort, but no teeth have appeared. Now it's Thursday, and I'd say we've had one night all week that didn't include night waking. Last night she woke at 3:00 AM crying like crazy for apparently no reason. I held her, rocked her, tried to get her to sleep in our bed, tried the firm "Go to bed!!" approach, and then finally caved, and Leland gave her a bottle. (I am suffering from a bit of guilt related to the fact that my soon-to-be-18-month-old is still taking a bottle, but that is for another post) All of this probably took about 2 hours. Even so, she managed to be awake by 8:00 AM, raring to go.

Something is just off. She's prone to meltdowns, can't seem to get enough attention and love, isn't getting enough sleep.......all typical signs of major teething discomfort or sickness. I have no idea what it actually is though. I'm sure it's just a little phase that will pass in a few days, but I am getting so frustrated and worn out. I have lots of little Christmas details to attend to, but by the time I get her to take a nap during the day or to go to sleep at night, I am completely out of steam. Ugh. The weekend could not get here any faster. (although with the amount of work L has had for the past few months, our weekends haven't exactly been fully enjoyable)

My Christmas cards have now turned into new year's cards, because I haven't had time to address them. I have a huge batch of sugar cookie dough rotting in my refrigerator, because by the time I mixed it and chilled it (2 days ago), I no longer had the strength to attempt to roll it out and bake it, whilst trying to involve MCM and keep her out of trouble. My once spotless house (last week) is now laden with a trail of crumbs, toys, books, and tupperware all carefully placed there by MCM. I am currently re-washing a load of clothes that I left (wet) in the machine for over 24 hours. I thought about it but didn't have the will to transfer it to the dryer yesterday. I haven't wrapped a single present. I haven't even purchased Christmas wrapping paper. In fact, I still have a list of presents to buy. My roots are showing. As it stands, I only fit into 2 pairs of pants that I own, and yes, they are maternity. (That being said, I will confess that my lunches this week have consisted of Chickfila, Milo's and - rock bottom - Krystal...I guess you could say I felt I needed a "treat") I bet all the Thursday night shows are reruns tonight too. Dern. Dern this week. I wish we could go back to Sunday and just start over...

(The funny thing is, I actually feel a little bit better after writing this. Thanks, blog. Maybe now I'll go take a shower after all!)

It's a...

2008-12-16T09:35:00.004-06:00

GIRL!!!

We are thrilled to have another sweet girl in the house, and THRILLED about MCM having a sister.

My sister, Leland, and MCM came to the ultrasound yesterday afternoon. I honestly had no idea what to expect, but considering the ultrasound tech said "she" about 10 times before making the big announcement, the cat was out of the bag relatively quickly. It may be premature to speculate about this baby's temperament, but this ultrasound was a much different experience than MCM's 18-week ultrasound. By 18 weeks MCM was already kicking and flipping like crazy - punching Mama from the inside! (A trend that merely intensified as the months went on) This new baby girl seems to take a more relaxed approach. I've felt some little taps here and there, but even being poked and prodded during the ultrasound didn't seem to bother her too much. Perhaps we can expect a chilled out little gal? That wouldn't be so bad! It's hard to imagine two little girls with completely different personalities...I know it is going to be a joy to get to know this new babe. Believe me, I am already daydreaming about a house full of little women...scheming about how I can get them to call me "Marmee" and how we can skip around the house singing and putting on plays and there will be lots of bows and dresses and dolls and fun. I can't wait!

I do hope we have a little boy in the future to temper all this girlie fun, but even if we don't, I feel extremely blessed by what God has given us.

Today I'm hoping to get myself motivated to run errands and take care of some last minute Christmas details and perhaps go to the book store and buy MCM a stack of books about the wonders of having a little sister. Yay!

Proof that anything goes as long as I get to cook dinner

2008-12-10T09:48:00.002-06:00

I wish you could see the mess of tupperware all over the floor. MCM worked very hard to clear out a spot for herself in the cabinet and was very proud of herself! After she cleared a good spot, she shut both doors and just hung out inside, thinking she was super clever and funny. We couldn't even get her to come out when Leland got home! She was having too much fun.

See?

O Christmas Tree!

2008-12-09T16:42:00.004-06:00

It's hard to capture the beauty of a Christmas tree in a picture (or at least, I don't have the skills to do it!), but in the spirit of sharing holiday fun, here's our tree! It's already been so fun to see how excited Charlotte gets when she sees the ornaments each day. She has a few favorites...of course, she loves the balls, because she can say that word. And there's a little red bell she likes to ring over and over, and there is a glass version of Noah's ark that she loves to look at and say "roar." It has a lion on it. You can also see her handy work at the bottom of the tree - she was pulling the ribbon off. Silly girl! She's actually been great about being careful with the tree and the ornaments. It's just fun to share this season with her and see that she's understanding things so much more. Having children enhances every life experience, but it's especially fun to see how each holiday is full of delights for little ones. How much fun will it be when there's two?!?

Our ultrasound is next Monday, so we're counting down. What do you think? Boy? Girl? I'm going to start keeping my mouth shut on that subject. Hopefully I can manage for a few days!

Catching Up

2008-12-05T15:36:00.003-06:00

Hey you.

Leaves are crunchy!

Almost learning how to smile for the camera.

Well, I hope to be truthful when I say that I am officially back. Internet is up and running, so I've officially run out of my #1 excuse not to blog. I miss it. But, I also feel like I've fallen off the wagon. Getting back on by simply typing something onto the computer screen suddenly feels like a monumental task. Still, life continues to move forward and continues to be occasionally blog-worthy, so here I am. I'm sad to say that I didn't take many pictures over Thanksgiving. We spent about 10 days in Memphis with the fam, which was great. But, I spent most of the time trying to keep up with or entertain MCM, so pictures just didn't happen much. She did have a blast playing in the leaves outside Nana and Pop's house. Every time we went out to get into the car we had to crunch leaves first. Good times.

It's been a hard week getting back into reality. It only took 10 days to virtually forget how much time we spend alone at the house or running errands. We're in such a routine (a rut, perhaps??), which is great, but it also becomes a bit of a grind when you do it day after day. The Beeb has had so much work over the past month or so, that it's difficult for him to get home in time to see MCM before she goes to bed much less to have the time he'd like to have to relax. All in all, life is an odd sort of busy. I am looking forward to the holidays in hopes that we'll have more time together, time to relax, play, and just enjoy life. We're having our first Birmingham Christmas this year, which should be fun. Lots to do to get ready for that...

MCM is almost 18 months old. It's insane how fast she's growing up. We are loving her more each day as we watch her little personality blossom. She is super sweet, loves kisses and hugs, is obsessed with dogs or "dog-uhs" as she calls them, and runs everywhere at full speed. She keeps us very busy from 6:30 AM when she wakes up (practically like clock-work) until 7:00 PM when we finally call it a day. After that, my brain is mush, which is another reason I've failed to blog for so long. Lately, I feel like I rarely have thoughts unrelated to feeding, entertaining, coralling, or disciplining a toddler. What's going to be really interesting is somehow expanding my brain to include nursing, changing, loving, and caring for a newborn! Bring it on!

I am 16 weeks pregnant right now, and we find out what we're having in 2 weeks. We can't wait! Right now I'm feeling good, although tired, and have a rapidly expanding baby bump. Man, is it true that you start showing earlier with #2! I keep trying to stuff myself into my pre-pregnancy jeans, but that's basically like Chinese water torture by the end of the day. Onto lovely maternity things!

Alright, I could go on and on, but MCM is refusing to nap and making lots of annoying sounds from her bedroom. Time to go retrieve her and carry on until 7:00 PM.

I hope the tens of people (if that!) who read this blog won't give up on me completely. I'm back!!

Oh Blog, How I've Missed You!

2008-11-07T15:07:00.003-06:00

Running through a field of pumpkins!

How cute is she??

One of my favorites. I love this face.

The perfect little pumpkin!

Wow, I've been gone for a long time! We still don't have working internet at our house, and I'm thinking of moving out until it shows up! For now, I'm visiting my parents for the weekend, so I am becoming spoiled in a world full of working technology.

The pictures above are very belated ones from the pumpkin patch a few weeks ago. Somehow we fit managed to go during one of the few weeks when MCM didn't have some sort of little cold or virus. The sick season has officially begun at our house! There has barely been a day when one of the three of us wasn't sneezy, wheezy, or feverish. When does it stop? On a good note, I am officially finished with the first trimester of pregnancy and feeling great! For a while there, I was riding a horrific hormonal roller coaster that had me feeling generally as if the world was ending and perhaps my life with it. (I have new loads of sympathy for women that deal with serious morning sickness and various pregnancy difficulties - especially when you already have little ones to care for!) Gladly, I've turned a corner and am actually experiencing excitement and happiness over the new BB that is going to join us in a few months. I am looking forward to having a sweet baby to hold now that my baby is getting to be a big girl, and of course I can't wait for her to have a sibling and all of the joys that will bring. It feels great to feel great, to not be sick or be paralyzed with exhaustion. I'm starting to feel slightly motivated to do more than just the bare minimum in the house-keeping department. (although I make no promises, Leland!) I'm even getting tiny inklings that maybe I should do something to prepare for this new baby...however, I can't do much until I know what we're having. You better believe we'll find out the minute we can. There's a 50/50 chance it could be a boy...or a girl...we shall see!!

I hope everyone is having an enjoyable fall. More blogs to come. Promise.

One, Two, Three...Four

2008-10-18T16:37:00.005-05:00

One more thing...this one is sort-of, slightly, ever so major, I'm pregnant! About 10 weeks to be exact. There was a little discrepancy about the due date, so another ultrasound at our next doctor's appointment should give us a better idea. Right now, we think the due date will be around May 17th. MCM and baby #2 will be almost exactly 23 months apart! I figure if can't have twins, at least we can have siblings very close in age. If it doesn't kill me, it will be so much fun in the future!

So far, this pregnancy has not been the easiest. I've been sick a LOT, which I wasn't at all with MCM. In general, I've felt a great deal of hormonal upheaval in addition to pretty constant nausea. Being sick and exhausted and caring for a busy toddler definitely has a way of coloring a pregnancy in a negative light, but last week I began to feel as if I was turning a corner in that department. Hopefully, now I will start having the energy to enjoy this a bit...to think about the precious little being that is growing right now inside me. What a miracle! I know in my heart that MCM needs a sibling, and our family is not complete...this is a great blessing, but I am asking for your prayers as we get used to the idea of becoming a family of four. Please pray for wisdom as we prepare MCM to receive a sister or brother, and please keep our family in your prayers as we collectively adjust to all of the changes pregnancy brings - good and bad!

Guess What? I'm Alive!!!

2008-10-18T16:19:00.002-05:00

Hello, blog world! My name is Courtney. I used to call myself a blogger. Now I guess I can just call myself retro, because I don't have internet access! That's right. NO INTERNET. No access to the world outside my front door actually, accept for the fact that we now have cable as of last night. Yes, our cable provider (Bright House, for anyone who would like to join me in boycotting them, lest they have our internet up and running by sundown tonight!), sent someone out on a Friday night. He stayed until about 8:30, and after that we called it a day and went to bed. That's how exciting things are around our house these days. We hang with the cable guy, then throw in the towel by 9:00 PM on a weekend.

Honestly, I feel like there's no excuse for the fact that I've been away this long. No email, no Facebook, no blogs, no People.com. I didn't realize how important internet access was to my state of personal well-being until it was taken from me for so long. At first I thought, this will be a nice technology fast. I'll pick up a good book, and show the world that I don't need TV and internet to survive. WRONG. Hopefully most of you will refrain from passing judgment, but this stay-at-home mom depends greatly on a network of friends and acquaintances, and heck, websites, just to have a sense of not being completely alone in the world. Thank God for it too, because when you're at home alone with your child for three quarters of every day, 7 days a week, it's nice to engage with any medium that feeds your brain and occasionally even your heart and soul every now and then.

Consider me a starving woman until the internet is up and running at our new place.

Daddy's Mini-Me

2008-09-18T08:47:00.003-05:00

"I'm goin' to work!"

"What's so funny?"

"Buh-bye!"

Yesterday morning MCM spotted Daddy's tie on the floor while he was getting ready for work. She immediately picked it up and put it on. Not sure if she's into the menswear look or if she just liked it because it's pink. Either way, she's so dern cute!! She's completely posing in that last picture, and I swear I had nothing to do with it!

Drumroll Please

2008-09-16T11:36:00.003-05:00

I hesitate to share this, because I know it could jinx everything. BUT, I feel that I must share it for the sake of encouragement or closure or something.

MCM is sleeping through the night.

All the way through.

We're talking 7:00 PM to usually about 6:30 or 7:00 AM.

Pretty crazy.

We didn't cry it out. In fact, I have been waking up with her every night for almost 15 months. Even after she was fully weaned (around 13 months), she would continue to wake in the night and want to try to breastfeed. Then, one day she stopped. And now she sleeps.

Many people believe that sleeping through the night is a developmental milestone that babies will reach when they are ready. Maybe MCM has just reached her point of readiness?

Please, prayers for this to continue after we move would be greatly appreciated. When we moved a few months ago, it was slightly traumatic for MCM. I think she was waking at night and wondering, "Where am I?? Where's my Mom and Dad??" It made for a bumpy and sleepless first month or two. I hate to see her go through that confusing transition time, but it may simply come with the territory.

I have come to expect a certain amount of ebb and flow in life with a baby, so if the night waking returns, it returns. No reason for freaking out or gnashing of teeth. But, for now, our days are long but our nights are peaceful. Sweet dreams for everyone!

Snippets from the slow move

2008-09-13T19:10:00.003-05:00

We're moving...slowly. Essentially our apartment is half-empty except the furniture. It's going to be an interesting challenge to see how many things we can successfully live without until next weekend when the move will be complete. This slow process wears me out - I'm an all or nothing type of girl. Once I start something, I want to finish it. So, I'm trying to relax...
I LOVE our new house. Most exciting things so far: more kitchen space than we have EVER had before. I mean, I moved my dishes, pots and pans in and just wanted to stare at all of the leftover space! Amazing! In addition to the space, I am just shocked at how much I love the newness of a new house. We've lived in some old places. My pots and pans are left with tiny shards of paint stuck all over them after being kept in several old cabinets caked in layers of paint that were probably lead-based. Not so in the new place! Clean cabinets, clean drawers. General cleanliness!! (maybe I'll be able to maintain cleanliness a little better now, huh?) Exciting thing #2: I potted some roses, which I've never done in my life, and placed them outside the front door. So cute, and made me so happy! I am chomping at the bit to plant more flowers. For some reason, curb appeal is becoming an obsession.
MCM has strep throat. (My apologies to all the babies we've played with this week. I PRAY MCM was not contagious around your little ones!) She acted a little strange all week, but yesterday she came down with a high fever and seemed so miserable that it warranted a trip to the doctor. Strep didn't even occur to me, but the doctor tested for it, and sure enough, that's what it was. My Mom was in town to help with MCM while I packed up the house, but she ended up being a great help taking care of sick MCM. We spent most of the day snuggling on the couch and watching cartoons. MCM could barely let me out of her sight, and the only thing that made her feel better was being held and loved. It was precious to be able to snuggle her all day, but it was definitely the sickest I've ever seen her. So sad! Today she seems to have turned a corner though, so we are thrilled about that!
I PROMISE pictures of the new place are immanent. You have no idea how much it will pain me to post the pictures of an undecorated house, but what the heck!

Not Giving Up, Just Busy, Busy, Busy

2008-09-10T09:10:00.002-05:00

I have every intention of writing more frequent updates, but right now things are crazy around here! We closed on our house Monday morning, and we're starting the process of packing and moving. It feels like we literally just did this, but we saved all of our boxes and packing materials from a few months ago, so that's making things much easier. We also left all of the non-essentials packed, so we have a little head start. Poor MCM has been a little bit out of sorts because Mom and Dad are so busy. There are boxes all over the place and we've been running around a lot. She understands that we're going through another change, but she's not quite sure what's going on. Hopefully she'll enjoy the new house!

Even though we're trying not to stress over moving and trying to take it slowly, we are SO ready to get out of this apartment. Yesterday morning at about 7:00 AM we could hear our next door neighbors in some sort of screaming match. We couldn't tell what they were saying, but there was a lot of "Yo Mama" this and "Yo Mama" that. They weren't making jokes though. Somebody was really angry about "Yo Mama." Not going to miss hearing the neighbors' every conversation one bit!!

So, my apologies about being away from the blog. I'll get back into the swing of things soon. Just need to pack and move first!

An Advocate for Children with Special Needs

2008-09-04T13:09:00.004-05:00

I'm still processing what I think about the candidates in this year's presidential election. This race is a tough one.

What I do know, is that as I watched the RNC last night, I was deeply touched by the love Sarah Palin and her family showered upon their sweet baby, Trigg, who was born with down syndrome. Her decision to carry this baby to term and the shameless way she has embraced her her 17-year-old daughter, who is 5 months pregnant (rather than hiding her away in disgrace), impresses me beyond measure. Families are messy. I love the fact that she makes no apologies for that. I also love that she puts her money where her mouth is when it comes to matters of life. Promising to be an advocate in the white house for familes with special needs children is going to be a powerful draw for many Americans. I'm not sure if this secures my vote for the GOP, but I was wowed by the message of hope Sarah Palin must bring to families who find themselves in similar situations.

I found this link on Barbara Curtis' website, but I'd like to link to it here as well.

Sarah Palin, Down syndrome & the brave new world

By Valerie Karr

Thursday, September 4th 2008, 4:00 AM

Republican vice presidential nominee Gov. Sarah Palin has put children with disabilities in a national spotlight. Her recent decision to have a child with Down syndrome places her in a tiny minority of American women. A staggering statistic: 92% of unborn children diagnosed with Down syndrome are now aborted in the United States. I don't normally get overly exercised about the issue of abortion, but this number is striking - and a searing indictment of social values. Somehow, we are saying the lives of children with Down syndrome mean less than those of so-called normal children.

Read the rest of the article here.

Wednesday Quirkiness

2008-09-03T08:24:00.003-05:00

So, I was tagged by Court, and I've taken days to get this going. We all know that I've got a few quirks up my sleeve. I've just had a little trouble verbalizing them. Here goes...

Here are the rules:

1. Link back to the person who tagged you.

2. Mention the rules on your blog.

3. Tell 6 unspectacular quirks of yours

4. Tag 6 fellow bloggers by linking to them

5. Leave a comment for each tagged blogger to let them know they've been tagged.

I have a certain pose that I involuntarily strike when I look into the mirror. Well, not every time, but usually when I'm trying on clothes or checking myself out after I've gotten dressed. Leland says it's all in the lips, but I think there is hip involvement too. It goes something like this: purse the lips, stick out the hip, one foot in front of the other. There. It's embarrassing, but like I said - I can't help it! I must pose!!
When it comes to food, I insist upon the combination of salty + sweet at all times. If I have something salty, it must be followed by something sweet. It doesn't have to be a huge dessert, but just something. This usually doesn't work if sweet goes before salty - I mean, I don't have to have french fries after ice cream, but the two go together mighty well.
I must have a glass of water beside my bed every night. I also have to apply lip balm - generously. This means that all areas of the mouth must be covered. I usually apply, read for a while, and then reapply.
While we're on the subject, I drink a lot of water, and I tend to leave cups of water all over the house. Anyone who has lived with me for any amount of time is very familiar with this fact. I think Amber once wrote a poem about it.
I am terrified of heights. If I am watching television and see a view from the top of a building or mountain, my palms start sweating. I once went to the top of the Empire State Building and had to spend the whole time in the gift shop, because I was queasy.
I hate that part of most church services where you have to greet your neighbor or give the kiss of peace. I'm not really that shy, but this particular brand of friendliness always feels so awkward to me. Something about knowing it's coming...anticipating it, looking around to see who's around, awkwardly looking at someone to see that they're avoiding eye contact, and then being forced to be the first one to reach out a hand or offer a hug. Ugh, grueling!

So that's a few quirks. I'm sure there are loads more.
Next I tag:

Whitney
Emily
Laurin
Amber
Greta
Betsy

Random Fact

2008-09-03T07:52:00.003-05:00

You may know her as Catherine, Nate Archibald's prototypical older woman love interest on Gossip Girl.

BUT,

Did you also know that she had her own glory days as Shelley Johnston on none other than 90's cult classic Twin Peaks?

Check out the eyebrows...hotness!

And We're Back

2008-09-02T13:20:00.003-05:00

Cute from head to toe, but it's difficult to get her to look at the camera.

Sittin' in the grass.

Drool.

Kissing the dog-uh.

Discovering that infant toys can still be fun.

We spent the labor day weekend at my parents house in Memphis. It was a full house - 3 couples, 2 dog-uhs, and 1 sick baby. I guess the slow onset of a yucky cold may have been responsible for last week's fussiness. At this point, I'm throwing up my hands as far as trying to figure out where it all comes from. MCM was sick all weekend, which caused her to be home bound. She still managed to have lots of fun toddling around Nana and Pop's house, crawling up the stairs and tormenting the dogs. It was good times.

Now we're home, and I've come down with her cold. I am SO wishing I could spend all day in bed finishing New Moon, but instead I took MCM shopping (she is rapidly growing out of all her clothes!), and I've been doing my best to get her to take a nap. The nap situation is precarious right now. No one tells you about things like the fact that going from 2 naps to 1 can be a long, confusing process. Sometimes it's obvious what MCM needs (yawning uncontrollably, laying on the floor as if she might actually go to sleep any old place), and other times she gives an oscar-worthy performance, pretending to be energetic and completely cool with no sleep all day. One thing I am finding frustrating about this nap transition is that she seems so tired in the morning. After about 2 hours awake, she seems ready to take a morning nap. She goes down easily, and stays asleep well. But, if she gets a morning nap, you might as week forget an afternoon nap - or she'll get sleepy at 4:00 PM - waaaay too close to bed time for my comfort. If I try to keep her awake until the afternoon nap (like I did today), she inevitably becomes over-tired, and that creates a level of fussiness that I just don't want to handle when I'm starving for lunch, and ready for my own little break.

I'm sure it will even out soon. Today I don't have the energy to handle things well. Like I said, I want to be in bed. It's a case of the Mondays, only it's Tuesday - thank goodness!

The Week of Teething Hell.

2008-08-27T08:23:00.003-05:00

Please play with me!

Stop taking pictures of me!!

I'm tuckered out.
It's funny to think that almost all of MCM's old pictures were of her laying down. Now that she's mobile, it's a novelty for her to lay down anywhere anytime.

We've been in teething hell. I'm not sure how else to characterize this week I don't know where the teeth are coming in, but all the tell-tale signs are there - excessive drooling, chewing on everything in sight, sleeplessness, crying, and a general state of misery for everyone involved. Teething is different with a toddler - worse, I'd say. They might not have lots of words, but they have LOTS of ways to communicate their unhappiness. This week MCM has been uncharacteristically fussy, clingy, sleepless, and wild. I have spent most of the week very tired...usually sitting somewhere on the floor in the house with MCM running around me or climbing on me. None of this is "normal" behavior for her, so I'm just riding it out, knowing that next week will probably be back to normal.

A few thoughts...

I do NOT want to drop the morning nap. Have any of your children kept the morning nap through the second year? Is there some way I can make that happen? Because if I don't, I fear I may never blog, clean, or shower again. Obviously blogging is taking a backseat right now. Cleaning is slightly irrelevant. Since we're moving in a few weeks, I've all but given up on maintaining home cleanliness. (what's the point, right?) Showering.........well, I have taken quick showers, but the time to shave, dry my hair, or apply make-up just isn't there. Thank goodness my husband loves me anyway!
What do you do to entertain your munchkins who are mobile but not quite ready for structured activities like playing games, coloring, etc.? MCM still puts most things in her mouth so play-doh, crayons, etc. are out. Mostly we just run around the house and play with all her toys or read. What else is there? Considering we wear those activities out within about an hour, how am I supposed to entertain her at home (since it's been raining ALL week long) for hours and hours? That question alone is causing to me dread and I mean DREAD winter. Thank goodness it won't really be cold in Alabama until January.
We close on our house in 2 weeks. I can't believe I haven't posted pictures, but I'll try to very soon. I should be thinking about packing, but instead I'm thinking about decorating and it's literally keeping me awake at night. Who wants to tell me what to do with my house to make it perfect in a matter of weeks? I need that. Well, I know I don't, but it feels like I do, and if I let my mind obsess to much, I'll go crazy.
In slightly embarrassing/frivolous news, I just started reading the Twilight series. It makes me feel like a teenager, and I like that.
MCM is screeching from her crib (where I'm trying to force her to take a morning nap), so I've gotta go...

Bumps, Bruises, Scratches and Scrapes

2008-08-21T14:33:00.003-05:00

Oh, she is a happy girl! She is energetic, excited and busy. Unfortunately, she's not always so steady on her feet. Here's the tally of injuries this week:

2 scraped knees
Bump on the forehead of unknown origin
Bump on the back of the head from slipping in the kitchen and falling completely backwards, hitting her head.
Unexplained scratches from playing at the park
Unexplained skinned forehead and quite a large red patch, resembling carpet burn from something that happened at the YMCA nursery. (shouldn't they have mentioned that to me?!?)

It might sound silly, but it's hard for me to laugh off these semi-harmless injuries. Admittedly, I am not a rough and tumble kind of girl. The worst injury I've ever had came from flying out of my brother's go-kart and skidding across the pavement on my face. Even then, it's not the physical pain I remember, but the heavy blow to my vanity after returning to school with scabs all over my face. (the horror!!) I also had a strong aversion to getting dirty. If I remember correctly, I actually asked my Mom if I could quit t-ball, because I didn't like getting messy in the dirt. That was the unfortunate, early end of my sports career.

MCM is a dainty, feminine little gal, but she is also pretty fearless. I am literally forcing myself to step back and let her explore the world as she wills, allowing her to get as dirty as she wants when we're out playing and even at meal times. You have no idea how much I want to wipe off every speck of dirt I see as she plays or eats, but I'm trying to break myself of what I can only determine is a case of vanity-shifting - i.e. caring excessively about how my kid looks. At least I can call it what it is, right?

So, yesterday we went to the zoo. Somehow it completely slipped my mind that there is a sprinkler park at our zoo. As soon as we rolled up in the stroller and saw the kids running around in their bathings suits having the time of their lives, I knew there was no way I could keep MCM from having fun too! Since we had no bathing suit and no towel, I decided we'd just make due. I took off her shoes and let her go at it full force, fully clothed. She LOVED it. Once she was soaked head to toe and all the way through the diaper, I took her to get changed. We toweled off with a burp cloth, put on a fresh diaper and strolled straight to the zoo gift store to buy a cheap t-shirt. Inside, it drove me crazy that everyone else's girls were clad in their big bows and bathing suits, but it made my heart smile to let it go and soak up all of MCM's smiles.

Today, I'm sucking it up as everywhere I go people point out MCM's scrapey places. I feel a bit like a bad Mom, but I know she's just doing the work of a toddler. Who am I to stand in the way?

Toddling Through Life

2008-08-20T08:45:00.006-05:00

This week...

MCM skinned both knees for the first time.
She also bumped her head on something in her crib, which resulted in a lovely bruise on her forehead.
She stayed in the YMCA nursery for a full hour. While she was there, she met a little girl who told me that MCM was her new best friend and she was going to teach her how to pee-pee in her big girl panties. What?!
She was given a balloon at Publix that has now become her obsession. I'm pretty sure we won't be able to shop there anymore unless they give us a balloon every time. I am amazed we were able to separate her from the beloved balloon at bedtime.
She is unfortunately losing interest in some of her big toys that have given her hours of entertainment for the past few months. Boo.
Playing consists of her running laps and me following her room to room all. day. long.

Toddlerhood is in full effect! I am scrambling to transition from meeting baby needs to toddler needs. Baby needs are so clear-cut - for the most part. Toddler needs are more complex. They are so busy! They want to do so many things and go so many places. They have lots of ideas, but they don't have the words to communicate them. As parents, we are required to become great interpretors for these ever-changing little people, and right now that feels a bit like grabbing at straws. My baby is part baby and part child. I am working to strike a balance between nurturing and freedom, changing old habits and trying to relax and take it easy all the while. I feel a certain amount of awkwardness as I try to move into a new routine and discover new ways to connect with, play with, teach, protect and love MCM in this new phase. Setting boundaries, keeping her safe, and keeping her happy is a full time job.

So, right now blogging is taking a backseat. I just don't want to give it the time. I'd rather give the time to MCM.

Wordless Wednesday

2008-08-13T08:39:00.002-05:00

On the hunt...with her pine cone. Can't go walking without something in her hand.

Time to dig in the dirt.

Want some?

Birmingham Frugal Moms

2008-08-12T09:55:00.003-05:00

Well, I can't always count myself in that category, but I try.

One way I have had much success saving $$ on my little Beeb is through shopping at consignment sales. As quickly as our tots grow out things, there is simply no reason to spend loads on clothing that is brand new. I couldn't believe how many adorable, gently used things I found for MCM at the Memphis spring/summer sales, so of course had to make sure I'm ready to go for the fall/winter sales here in Birmingham. If anyone else is interested, here is a link to the dates for all of the upcoming consignment sales in town. (And a fun, helpful local blog too!) Enjoy!

13 Going on 14

2008-08-11T07:40:00.006-05:00

No more of this...

Now we're walking everywhere!

I've gotten lazy about writing monthly updates recently, and in the meantime life has really changed around here! MCM will be 14 months in a matter of days. Toddler fun abounds! MCM is walking everywhere all by herself! I wasn't sure what life would be life with a little walker, but it is GREAT! It makes things so much easier on Mama and creates lots of new ways to play around the house. Lately, we spend a large part of the day chasing each other up and down the halls of our apartment or playing hide and seek (really just me hiding and then popping out to surprise MCM). It is crazy how quickly she went from cruising around the furniture to taking off on her own. Since MCM turned 1 she I feel like I've watched her rapidly transform into a toddler before my very eyes. Here what's been going on this month:

MCM is communicating a lot more both verbally and non-verbally. Right now she says Mama, Dada, dog, cracker, "good girl", baby, baba (for bottle), and lots of other random things at random times. Pointing is still her #1 mode of communication, and it's amazing how much she can tell you just by leading you places with her little arm pointing in the right direction!
She is starting to do a lot more playing on her own, even doing some pretending. She will pretend to lay down on the floor and go to sleep and then hop up like she's awake. She still loves peekaboo and any version of jumping out to surprise someone. Yesterday she started taking little objects and putting them into her Fisher Price refrigerator. Then she would go back later like she needed to get something out of the refrigerator. So cute! It's amazing to see how much she's learning simply from observing what we do in everyday life. It's so fun to play with her!
She LOVES music, and I know I sound like my mom saying this, but I really think she's got a pretty incredible sense of rhythm! She loves to clap and bang on things (to the beat!).
When she hears music, she LOVES to dance. She is still loving to do her little wiggle dance, which involves a lot of head-bobbing and shimmying, even cuter when she does it while walking around.
When we're not walking, playing, singing, or dancing, we're usually reading books. She still loves to read. Right now her favorite book is Goodnight Moon, and she is also really into nursery rhymes.
She is completely weaned, except for the occasional nighttime attempt to nurse, and we're both getting used to the new routine. I am over the rocky hormonal adjustment to not nursing, and she has started to really look forward to getting ba-bas at nap time (the only way I can get her to drink milk). She actually gets REALLY excited about it.
Sleep is going better now that she's adjusted to not breastfeeding, and in general things seem to be settling into a new normal.
She has 8 teeth and 4 molars! 2 of them are still coming in and driving her pretty nuts.
She is still obsessed with fruit, although I have had some success at getting her to expand her food repertoire. Her favorites are bananas and pears. She also loves cheese and yogurt, turkey, oatmeal, chicken, and - oddly - pitas and hummus.
She is super sweet, loves to share, loves to snuggle, loves people, and loves her Mama and Dadee, and we love her more than ever!

Photo Friday

2008-08-08T16:49:00.004-05:00

Yesterday was our last fun summer day at Splash Beach. I can't believe it's summer's end! Since I've been so lazy about posting pictures until now, I thought I'd post a few silly ones for your Friday afternoon enjoyment. The weekend is here!

We arrive...she's already gettin' excited!

Down the slide we go! Despite MCM's confused face, this is her favorite. We probably go up the stairs, down the slide at least 20 times in the span of 2 hours. It. Is. Awesome.

I might be having more fun than MCM. Love me some baby water slides. Just don't make me do anything that's meant for grown-ups.

We didn't drown! Let's do it again!

The aftermath. Practically asleep before we made it through the parking lot.

Breastfeeding R.I.P.

2008-08-06T14:22:00.004-05:00

Guess what? It's world breastfeeding week, a time to celebrate, support and advocate breastfeeding for all women. If you want to join in, feel free to post about your breastfeeding experience on your blog.

If you'd told me 14 months ago that I'd breastfeed past 6 months, I might not have believed you.

Well, that's not entirely true.

Inside I would've been planning on extended breastfeeding and weaning when my child was ready, but outside I would be openly skeptical about women that did such things, scoffing at the La Leche League-ers and rolling my eyes at those billboards proclaiming, "Breast is best." You see, on the outside I am a polo-wearing, pseudo-republican WASP, but inside I am clothed in flowing skirts, voting for Obama and crossing myself when I pray. Inside I am also babywearing, attachment parenting, and breastfeeding my kid until she's at least 2...unfortunately, things don't always happen the I want them to in my (inner) ideal world.

MCM is almost completely weaned. It's been a tough few weeks coming to terms with that fact and trying to figure out how weaning happens. I know lots of Moms have differing experiences and opinions when it comes to breastfeeding, and I'm fully aware of the breastfeeding/bottle feeding dilemma each mother must face. This post is not about other mothers though. This post is about me and MCM.

I knew I would breastfeed MCM. Before she was born I told myself I would see how it goes and not put too much pressure on myself to breastfeed. But, once she was born, I was determined that I would make it work. We were blessed with an easy road for the most part. Yes, that first month of breastfeeding was quite eye-opening. Our modern world is tidy, sterile, private, and detached, for the most part. Breastfeeding turns that on its head. It can be messy. In the beginning, it hurts. For many mothers it's embarrassing or even frightening if you lack support or encouragement. It infringes upon your world every few hours and forces you to be close to your baby for much of the day and night. You must open your arms to your baby. No one can take your place. During that first month I had thrush (more painful than labor contractions - I swear!) and right after that, mastitis. Once that was taken care of, it was really okay. MCM was a good eater, didn't have latch problems, and gained weight steadily. We were blessed.

The biggest challenge I faced was letting go of some of the things I'd read and poor advice I was given that really did nothing but steal my joy as a breastfeeding mother. Those first few months I was determined to never nurse MCM to sleep - day or night! I'd read that if I nursed her down she would never go to sleep on her own, and since having a "good sleeper" is pretty much the holy grail of the parenting world, I was determined not to do it. When I fed MCM at night, I would go in, change her diaper, nurse her, and she'd fall fast asleep. Then I'd change her diaper again - waking her completely on purpose - and attempt to put a fully awake newborn to sleep in her crib alone. What on earth?? Once I started nursing MCM to sleep or at least into deep relaxation before naps and bedtime, my life became much easier.

I also found myself uncomfortably attached to the idea of a strict feeding schedule. I didn't plan on it, but when people tell you a baby should eat every 3-4 hours and no more, it sticks in your brain like glue! Every time it seemed like MCM wanted to nurse 30 minutes after she'd just nursed, I would practically have an anxiety attack trying to figure out what else she could want besides nursing. Eventually, I learned what most happy nursing mothers know - nursing is the answer to almost everything. If your baby is hungry, sleepy, sick, fussy, lonely, or bored, nursing is almost always what they want or at least, what will calm them down. It is a nursing mother's greatest weapon and God's greatest gift in those moments! (Contrary to popular opinion, you cannot overfeed a breastfed baby, and there is no need to schedule a breastfed baby in the way you would a bottle-fed baby. They are simply two entirely different things!)

Once I learned to love breastfeeding, MCM and I really settled into a great routine. She would wake in the morning, nurse and snuggle to wake up. She is a very cuddly baby and loved to be held in those moments. We'd play for a few hours. Then maybe nurse down for her nap. Then nurse to wake up, go out and have some fun, then, come home and nurse down for nap number 2. You get the drift. There was a lot of breastfeeding involved in our day. It was part of our routine, and things were going along nicely.

Then, we began traveling quite a bit - Dallas, Memphis, Florida, Memphis again, Dallas again. In between, we weren't doing much to keep our days steady. To further complicate matters, I was feeling a certain amount of pressure to make a decision about weaning as MCM's first birthday approached. I don't know anyone in real life who nursed beyond a year. (although I've read plenty of books on the subject) I don't know many people in real life who nursed until a year. I've heard plenty of people discuss weaning or make comments about those weird moms who simply can't let go of breastfeeding. (No pressure there, right?) In general, I hadn't made a decision for myself about whether I was prepared for extended breastfeeding. Was I prepared to continue the schedule we had going? Did I want more freedom, more opportunities to get out on my own away from MCM? Is that something I should want? More importantly, is that something MCM needs? I wasn't sure.

I am sure MCM picked up on this anxiety a little bit. Babies have a way of sensing when you're being weird. At the same time, she was starting to walk, in serious pain as her 1st year molars started coming in, and becoming quite the distracted little nurser. Being out of town, busy going place to place, and surrounded by lots of people is not a recipe for calming the distracted nurser or wooing back the baby who may be on a nursing strike. So, MCM started skipping feedings. I didn't have my breast pump, since we were out of town, so I simply had to wait until she felt like nursing or persist at offering until she would finally nurse for a short period of time. Still, I could tell my supply was dwindling.

After we returned home, she officially refused to nurse in the mornings. She would nurse at night and then go until 12:00 or 1:00 PM without drinking anything - even refusing a sippy or cup. This went on until I could tell I was no longer waking up with lots of milk in the morning like before. So, I had to make a decision about whether I would treat this as a nursing strike or decide she was weaning and push things in that direction a bit. Again, the voices of books and advice-givers start flooding my head. They said, this is her growing up, and you need to let her grow. They said this is your chance. If you don't take advantage of this moment to wean, she might not want to wean until she's 4! Are you prepared to nurse that long? I was so confused, wanting to be a good mother, wanting to get it right, and not wanting to be too weird. I also loved breastfeeding, loved that special time with MCM and knew that no matter what, breastfeeding would not last forever.

So, after a lot of crying, after a lot of deep sadness and a certain amount of grieving, I chose to let MCM decide. Mostly, she wasn't breastfeeding enough to maintain my supply as it was or to get enough liquids. I pushed water, juice, tried whole milk, to no avail, but did not pump. Finally, toddler formula seemed to do the trick, and it turns out she'll take it from a bottle but not out of a cup. As of now, she is not breastfeeding during the day at all, but she is waking at night wanting to breastfeed. She is also having a tough time going to sleep, because I think she has now decided she wants to breastfeed at those times. She cut another set of molars last week, and now I'm wondering if maybe this whole episode was simply a long nursing strike due to teething. The unfortunate part is that it's too late as far as my milk supply is concerned.

What is the lesson here? Have I done the right thing? Part of me just wants my nursing baby back and the wonderful routine we had. Another part says I'm supposed to learn new ways to connect with her, new routines to put in place and explore my newfound freedom to some extent. The thing is, when it comes down to it, I really don't want my freedom. I want to be fully a mother and everything that entails. For me, that means a nursing mother. That is what I have been, day and night, for the past 14 months...now what?

I guess the only thing left to say is that I'm incredibly thankful for my experience breastfeeding MCM. The only reason weaning is this sad is because the past year was so wonderful, so meaningful, so full of attachment and love and joy...so much so that I am literally grieving the loss of it. I am thankful that I continue to have a healthy, growing, baby girl, er toddler. I know that we are entering new territory that will be full of new experiences, new joys, and new opportunities for growing our relationship.

Is breastfeeding worth the time, energy, patience and persistence it requires? Absolutely yes. Will I do it again? Absolutely yes.

The Safest City On Earth

2008-08-05T14:31:00.003-05:00

Today I did something pretty stupid. I'd beg you to chalk it up to Mom brain, but this may just be confirmation that I'm losing my mind.

Splash Beach is a bit of a drive, so when we go, Greta and I meet up to consolidate cars. This morning we met at a certain Arby's near my apartment where I left my car and joined Greta. (This particular Arby's happens to be situated at one of the busiest intersections in town) Consolidation required car seat removal, installation and the transfer of beach goods as well as a stroller. Add a baby to the mix, and it's a lot to keep up with.

After a great morning at SB, we returned to the aforementioned car to discover that I'd left the back driver's side door wide open for...............wait for it.............four hours. The door wasn't simply unlocked or cracked. We're talking wide open. Within the beloved car there was also my beloved camera - which was supposed to make it to SB with us - and my beloved BOB stroller.

Every single thing inside was exactly where I left it. I'm in shock, which leads me to the conclusion that became title of this post. Amazing.

(Please, Leland, don't be mad.)

I'm Melting.

2008-08-05T08:12:00.003-05:00

It's August. Does that mean that we're in the "dog days" of summer? I'm not even sure what that means, but I think we're there. The heat outside is killer. I can't justify taking a baby out in this weather, so our summer fun plans are severely limited for the time being.

Our time indoors sends my mind wandering back to long, cold winter days being cooped up in the house with an infant. Um, no thanks! I'm not ready to be homebound yet! I'm already seeing the need to get a little schedule of indoor fun going for us, but I can't say I've come up with loads of great ideas. So far we've been spending a lot of time at the library playing or going to story time. (Although I can't say it has anything on story time at Davis Kidd. Man, I miss that.) I've slightly tortured MCM by making her frequent the mall or other shops with me. I could easily fill up a week by going out to lunch every day, but that's not easy on the budget. Each afternoon we're exhausting every inch of our apartment looking for new ways to create fun. Good thing walking is still a novelty for her. I could wear myself out chasing MCM up and down the hallways all day long. I've contemplated the possibility of mother's day out for the fall, maybe for just one morning a week, but I think we're too late for that. What do the rest of the moms do when going outside is not an option?

In search of other indoor fun, Leland also signed us up for digital cable. We're back to the land of the modern TV connoisseur, but I can't say we're much better for it. I still can't find anything to watch. All he watches is soccer. And there are enough children's channels to entertain MCM for the next decade if I decide to start mothering from the couch permanently (which, I've got to admit, sounds a little appealing this morning.). Unfortunately, I (apparently) broke the sound on said cable yesterday, so unless we start reading lips in the next day or so, there won't be any television for any of us. Wicked irony.

Today we're off to cool ourselves in the waters of Splash Beach. I'm sure a sun burn isn't too far away...or a heat stroke. But, fun will be had, and that's what's important. Now if I can just convince MCM to take a nap of any size beforehand, we'll be good to go.

A Good Week

2008-08-01T08:57:00.002-05:00

Happy Birthday, Ellen! Another Savages cake success. Yum!

Soaking wet and still smiling! We'd just gotten caught in the middle of Tuesday night's thunderstorm. We almost got blown away!

Cute Murphree family.

This week we had a fun visit from Ellie (Leland's mom). It was her birthday, and she came to spend it with the kiddos. It was so nice to have company! Even though it was her birthday week, she was sweet enough to babysit and show MCM such a fun time. This gave me the opportunity to reclaim a bit of my sanity and attempt to redeem my bedraggled looks. I feel a little guilty about it, but I spent my week getting a mani/pedi, getting my hair cut (short!) and highlighted and getting Mystic tanned. I'm a new woman! (If you see me, just assume I recently returned from a trip to the islands, because that is how tan I am. Love it!!) We also had a yummy Mexican birthday dinner and went to see Mama Mia. So fun.

It's been a great week, but I'm still oh-so-ready for the weekend. Our house is going to be ready in less than 2 months, and I've got some major furniture shopping and decision making to do. I'm ready to start packing immediately...I can't wait to get out of this APT! Happy Friday to all...

Your Blog-hopping Just Got More Fun

2008-07-30T09:13:00.003-05:00

We have a new blogger in the family, folks! The Beeb has now taken it upon himself to open wide to us the world of European Football, music, and life! Check out his brand new blog, add it to your daily reads, and leave him some comments so he doesn't get too lonely over there. Love ya, Beeb!

Watch Out Kids!

2008-07-30T08:08:00.004-05:00

Amended: one of my links was wrong on this story. Now corrected.

P.S. I really do love Memphis.

Diaper bag? Check. Sippy cup? Check. Stroller? Check. Bullet-proof vest? Check.

Seriously, my dear Memphis folks, you might want to keep your eyes peeled for falling objects, because now they're falling right into the Memphis Zoo.

I say jccvi for mayor. Clean up the river town!

When the Zoo Makes You Sad.

2008-07-29T08:25:00.007-05:00

Sunday afternoon we took MCM to the zoo for the first time. We purchased one of those handy family memberships at the beginning of the summer, but it took me an awfully long time to make use of it. We were excited, because MCM has such a love for animals. She shows no fear in the face of dogs - big or small - or cats, so we were sure getting to see the big game would really knock her socks off. It was a typical hot and humid Alabama afternoon. (hence MCM's healthy glow in the picture above - she was sunblocked and sweaty) We didn't want to stay too long because of the heat, so we tried to hit the highlights - big cats, zebra, giraffes, kangaroos and monkeys.

We learned that MCM calls all animals "dog-uhs" or "dog-ghies" and we learned that some zoo animals are very frightening. In particular, the gorilla showed some strange behavior that may have traumatized MCM for life. It was sitting on the ground with a pile of green slop at its feet. It was playing with the slop and eating it at the same time. We couldn't figure out if the green stuff was some sort of plant puree that zoo gorillas eat or if it was a mass of green gorilla poo. Whatever it was, it looked nasty.

At some point the gorilla got on all fours and started making horrible sounds. MCM looked alarmed. After a minute it gave a heave, and up came the green stuff all over the floor...only to be picked up and eaten again. I really can't describe how horrifying it was. After that MCM started to get a little weepy. I think she was confused about what she'd seen, and even as a baby she knew it just wasn't right.

When we got home, Leland and I couldn't stop thinking about the poor gorilla. We decided to Google gorillas and regurgitation. Turns out it's a behavior that's only found in captive gorillas. Apparently zoo keepers try to explain that there is some sort of health benefit in eating their own puke, but others suggest it is an anxious response to the stress of being in captivity, being bored, and having to subdue natural instincts.

Every time I go to the zoo, I'm reminded of how sad it makes me feel. All of those big animals kept in small cages or small areas that don't allow them to run or play or hunt or any number of the things that they would do in the wild. Some, like the gorilla, who would normally live among other gorillas in the wild, are practically kept in solitary confinement. What kind of life is that? Is it worth it just so our children are able to see these animals up close? Is this what animal conservation looks like? More importantly, is this what God meant when he gave Adam dominion over all of the beasts of the field and the birds of the air? I'm not sure.

Will I take MCM there again? Probably. When you are a compassionate person (possibly to a fault), when you have too many ideals (is there such a thing as too many??), sometimes it's hard to live up to all of them. But, I'm just wondering, does the zoo make anyone else feel sad?

Because it's Friday

2008-07-25T08:03:00.003-05:00

It's past 8:00 AM and MCM is still asleep. STILL ASLEEP!! This is by far the best thing that has happened to me all week. I am able to drink coffee and shamelessly enjoy Miley Cyrus on The Today Show, while silently praying that she will continue this "nap" as long as humanly possible. And it's Friday to boot. AND Leland and I actually get to go on a date tonight.

Why do I get a little bubbly excited feeling when I hear/watch Miley? Is Miley the new NSYNC? (meaning musician/famous person who is appealing to the point that we all like her despite the fact it's completely age inappropriate? I can only answer this for me, but YES.)

Oh, weekend, I am so very, very glad you're finally here.

Everybody's Doing It

2008-07-23T10:16:00.003-05:00

For those few Bachelorette superfans...did you know they have a website/future blog?

www.deannaandjesse.com

Where the rose ceremonies will never end!

The Loneliness of Mothering

2008-07-23T08:43:00.003-05:00

With all the things there are to accomplish in a day, all of the energy that goes into caring for my child, (barely) caring for my house (er, lame apartment) and attempting to maintain a relationship with my spouse, the very first thing that seems to fall by the wayside (in addition to time for myself) is friendship.

When I try to recall the last time I had what could be characterized as a social life (for our purposes, simply meaning a network of close friends who live in the same city), I think it might have been 2006. That's just sad. The end result of a full-time job (back then), pregnancy, the newborn days (facing colic, crazy schedules, lack of sleep), and unexpectedly moving to a new city, has been a social calendar that is unfortunately lacking, and more emphatically a life that is lacking in intimate connections.

To some extent, this happens naturally during the first year of your child's life. It's an intense time - especially the first time. You're focused on your child. It's hard to plan things around a baby's need to nap. Nighttime outings are limited, because now they require a babysitter. You know how it is.

Most of the time I still feel busy. I am exhausted at the end of most days. Entertaining a budding toddler results in a great deal of busyness. But underneath there is often a sense of emptiness. There is a great deal of loneliness in simply being home alone with your child - even when, like me, it is a vocation that you cherish and strive to protect.

When I'm out with MCM, I look around, and there are literally moms with young children everywhere. Mostly we walk around, keeping to ourselves and our little ones, and I wonder, are they as lonely as I am? Surely other women have a need for friendships that go beyond play dates and visits to the zoo. Surely there are other women who desire the kind of friendships where lives are shared, not just recipes and used toys.

Some women are surrounded with a network of other Moms. They may be deeply involved in their churches or women's groups. They may volunteer a great deal of time in ministry or fill their time doing activities with their children. But, the void is still there...the loneliness of lacking relationships on which you can truly depend...the loneliness of mothering alone.

On this subject, I have to confess how many times I have wanted to reach out to another mother but have let either shyness, pride, or fear stop me from doing so. I recognize that the most proactive way out of these waters is to reach out to someone who is in the same boat. Why is that so hard?

I don't have a perfect answer. I could conclude this by listing a number of solutions or trite suggestions, but I will not. I know that "this too shall pass." I know that I am not really alone, but sometimes it is difficult to find comfort in a God I cannot see. Sometimes it would be great if God could sit down on the couch next to me, have a cup of coffee and just listen - or talk back for that matter. Hope there's not any sacrilege in that...these are merely thoughts...idle chatter on a Wednesday morning when I should probably be doing something productive like laundry. Ho Hum.

Afternoon blues.

2008-07-22T15:05:00.003-05:00

It's 3:00 PM here and practically dark in this cave of an apartment. I'd love to have something light and encouraging to say, but my mood is matching the weather this afternoon. Nothing too terrible happening but just a general feeling of blah...perhaps a little post-travel blues? Post-stuck in the house for too many days with a sick baby-blues?

MCM seems to be all better today. Spots are mostly gone. It turns out she had a case of roseola, which I'd never heard of, but is a common childhood virus that is gone as soon as it starts to really freak you out.

Other things are changing though.

The morning nap is starting to disappear. I'm not sad about that, but it will take a little adjusting. That morning nap has been providing me with a little extra time to wake up in the morning. More importantly, it provides time for the ever important shower, which is happening later and later in the day this week.

I also think MCM is weaning herself. She is slowly dropping feedings - at least that's the best I can surmise. I've been wracking my brain trying to figure out what she needs, what's going on in that little head. Is this a particularly long nursing strike? Is it related to illness? Traveling? Teething? But, I'm facing the fact that this is her choice and her time, and I'm certainly not going to stand in the way. I'm trying not to obsess over whether or not she's eating and drinking enough.(trying - the key word) Changes are just hard for me. It takes me a while to catch on, catch up and actually make a change. So, this week we're doing the best we can. And that's not much.

I guess it's really the my baby is growing up blues. I'll probably never completely adjust to that.